I can't take it anymore

First of all, nobody is straight where you are. I am confident that you are surrounded by a many closeted types, many going through all frustrations, denials and emotional anguish. Those who protesteth too much, you know?

I was once an Administrator on a pagan forum which was busy. We had a lot of a pagans who were secret about their spirituality because they lived in bible belt areas. Quite a number of them really. All too scared to admit who they are publicly but enough to give people heart attacks if they all gathered publicly as pagans.

Regarding family and such, I don't know. I grew up in a staunch Irish Catholic area. Being gay saw you bashed for Jesus. Many people in such areas try to finish school and move to area where they have a chance to be themselves.

 

Braddd, hello and welcome to EC . I think you will find that there are a few others that are not straight and are just a scared as you are to come out . I don't blame you for being cautious I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes I am sorry that this is happening to you and I am not able to help but I bet there is a somebody here that can help please be patient and good luck

 

Brad, starting out on EC is a great way to get socially connected and exchange ideas with many others in a similar situation. As others stated, not everyone is necessarily straight where you are, but their perception of the difficulties coming out might be similarly situated as yours. Do you live in a big or small town in Georgia? And do you have some degree of independence on the weekends or are you always with your family? If your in a larger town and have some degree of independence, finding a local LGBT center might've be an alternative to consider.

 

Sometimes in life we have to pick our moment carefully and maybe now is not the time for you Braddd. There is too much to lose by coming out right now, not just in practical terms, but emotionally too. Coming out now could leave you in a very vulnerable position.

I agree with USUK about using this site as a way to connect with the LGBT community. You can join in as much as you like and hopefully make friends in the process. By sticking around and reading forum postings you may gain the strength and encouragement you need to come out when the time is right.

 

hey braddd,
that's got to be really hard, i'm sorry. do you have any friends/family members who you think might be supportive of you if you decided to tell them? it might help to have someone to talk to. i do want to urge you to be careful when deciding to come out though, since in some cases it might be better to wait a few years until you are self-supporting and out of school (you would have the freedom to do what you like/be where you want to be). but again, i know very little about your situation, so do as you see fit. we will be supportive, whatever you decide.
as to religion. i myself have distanced myself from it, but i can't seem to shake my spirituality i have however come to the conclusion that what i do in life is between me, my conscience and my god. i think it's important to note that there are as many ways of interpreting religious texts as there are humans, and rightly so. if you are curious, or want to find a way to talk about your sexuality with religious family/friends i recommend matthew vines' "god and the gay christian" and john shore's "UNFAIR" (have not read the latter, but follow his blog occasionally). vines' book was very interesting, even if i don't agree with everything (as one never should). if you're not a big reader, there are videos on youtube summing up both authors' conclusions (search the name and "on homosexuality").
anyways, i hope i don't sound like i'm preaching, that really isn't my intention, but i know the background you're coming from, and these authors really got me thinking about things and as i said, could be useful if you're confronted by people bashing you with the bible. to me god is love, end of story, no exceptions.
let us know what you decide, but my advice is take it slow. once you tell someone you can't take it back. make sure you start with people you trust, who will be supportive even if they may not agree with you.
all the best!

 

I promise you God loves you regardless of your sexuality and there are other gay Christians out there, and even in your town.
As for coming out, don't do it unless you are in a safe place where you cannot be harmed physically or emotionally. You can always come talk to us and be out to us. It's also not a bad idea to spend some time in the closet while you're still figuring out who you are.
Remember that in the future, you can move wherever you want and be out there.
Stay strong and good luck with everything.

 

As a fellow atheist gay man in the Bible Belt of Texas, my advice to you is to come out one at a time. If you come out as both, it only doubles the headaches and heartache. Start with the one your parents would be less vehement about, to show them that you're different from them, get them used to it, then come out as the other.

 

When you live in the Bible Belt, everything about being gay is harder. Because you live in the Atlanta area, you have it easier than most, because there are plenty of people around who are just as uninterested in being drowned in homophobic versions of religion and prejudice as you are. You may have to wait until you are at least 16 and able to drive to gain some mobility in meeting with other people your age, since the other gay kids in your school are just as likely as you are to be closeted because of the hostile surroundings. If you have strong religious beliefs, you can find online videos of Metropolitan Community Church videos, which will help you realize that not all Christian churches are as "straight" as your current church environment is. But, since you are embedded in a religious context in school, community, and home, you are probably going to have to wait until you are in college to be yourself openly and honestly. It is a shame, but that is what the South is still like in many communities. Maybe some other possibilities will open up as you get a bit older, and gain more mobility, but you will have to weigh the risks of coming out in a homophobic environment, against the pressure you feel to "be yourself" openly for now. You can always come here to talk about your problems and not be judged harshly for now. Just remember that it will get better as you get older, so be patient and keep in mind that you have a good life ahead of you, no matter how awkward things may be right now.