Changing life totally after coming out

I can appreciate the desire to change everything and star new. That said, coming out in its own right is a huge event in of itself. When I came out, a friend said to me "do not try and change the world in a day, take your time, ease into everything". I took that advice and I think for me it was the right advice.

As I look back on the past few years after having come out, I realize the initial euphoria has settled down and, while I did make big personal changes by coming out, I am glad I did not do anything too extreme and try and change everything. Today, I am very content with my life, my career, my partner, etc.

 

I think it makes sense. Especially if you're coming out as an adult. For me, finally really looking at myself came out of a general dissatisfaction with certain aspects of my life, and being willing to accept what I needed to do to change that. That same mentality can apply across many areas, from romance to physical health to work, and so on. I think when you come out to yourself you really dissect yourself and you may learn more about yourself than just your sexuality.

It is also a pretty emotional time, though, so it may help for you to take some extra time to consider if you truly want to change jobs or if you're just feeling the "high" of coming out. Maybe take some time to look into programs that appeal to you to see if these are things you'd *really* want to do, and if you can manage it financially to go back to school. Don't ignore your thoughts or feelings, but be rational in your approach and I think you will be ok .

 

I felt the same way... it was like an epiphany... I realized that there was so much that I wanted to change... weight, appearance, etc... it seemed funny how it all happened at once... but I think the fact of being honest with myself lifted such a weight off my shoulders that I could actually see the bigger picture. Strange feeling... but I totally get what's going on with you.

 

I'm going through the exact same thing right now. I was also in denial for a LONG time, but now that I have accepted my own sexuality and started coming out to loved ones one at a time, I feel a strong urge to change my entire life. I also work a terrible dead end job, live in a tiny, nothing of a town and doing absolutely nothing with my life. But at the end of the year I'm gonna move back in with my family for a little bit, get a better job, apartment, life, and pursue my dreams. You gotta embrace the change! Lol

 

I think for me it's that I'm finally being myself and I'm wanting to do more things that allow me to do that and make myself happy. My career, the activities that I do (or don't do) aren't things that are ME. I finally know what it feels like to be me and I want ALL parts of my life to reflect that. It's like chocolate. Once you get a taste, you want more.

 

This is really quite interesting. I came out, got a new job, moved out of the family home and had a first boyfriend in the space of about 4 months, followed by the full divorce which happened last April.

I really do think you begin to realize, after living in the closet for so long, that other aspects of your life also don't ring quite true.

Of course it depends on your circumstances, but starting something new is always exciting. There is no guarantee that it will pan out as expected (what does?) but hey, life is too short to be spent doing things that aren't where you want to be.

This is not to discount a regular paycheck by the way, God knows, these things are becoming rarer and rarer! You simply need to weigh the costs and benefits. Giving up a paycheck is an opportunity cost, so don't forget to factor that into your calculations!

 

I came out and everything seemingly started to happen so fast, but I knew I still had to take my time and take necessary steps to ensure my well being.

 

Is looking to change careers solely an issue for those coming out? Not sure it is. Straight or gay or whatever - people go down their respective career paths to contribute to society and make a living. I am sure there is a segment of the working population that is completely satisfied with their chosen fields, but my guess is that the larger majority are actually working paycheck to paycheck and while not necessarily happy, happy to have a job.

I am not trying to be a fatalist; as I, in fact, find enormious satisfaction with my career both professionally and personally. All I am suggesting is for those looking to "change everything" do so in a prudent and rational way. I am not sure making career altering decisions while experience the euphoria of having had come out is necessarily the right time to be making such decisions,

Now that I said that, and as I just re read what I said, I apologize in advance for sounding like my parents ��

 

Sounds similar to me in a way…but I am just starting the process of coming out I haven't actually told anyone yet! I'm 24, I decided I needed a change (before I came out), so quit my job, went back to college since september, moved out of my old area into a new house with new people and am training like crazy in the gym I "think" that what you are experiencing and want to do is completely normal for someone who is coming out/just after coming out, for me it is all about making a fresh start and doing exactly what I want to do as I was not happy with my old life. I would say give it a lot of thought and really make sure this is what you want to do and if you decide to then just do it! Will be a lot happier then

 

I know you posted two days ago, but I feel exactly like you right now. I'm not sure if my gender and sexuality questions really affect my questions of career, health, place in life, etc. But I think the concept of coming out really is about knowing and being true to thyne self. So therefore, it raises questions about whether you are being authentic, which can apply to any aspect of your life. I for one feel like I'm at the top of my game professionally,, yet no happier than when I started as an intern. Id say if you have a nest egg and can afford it, break free while young, travel or do whatever stirs your soul, and find your true self. Who knows, maybe you will also find a career and accepting coworkers along the way

PS- whats the geo in your handle? Geography, geology? I love maps too.

 

I am in the midst of this process, so cannot offer hindsight, however I do feel a sense of wanting to change things.

But, I actually feel like wanting to change things was what drew me into questioning my sexuality, rather than, inversely my sexuality instigating a spiral of change.

I mean this only started for me (in terms of saying clearly "I am...) last week, but I thought it might be interesting to throw in the opinion of someone at a different point in the process.

Things I want to change are largely due to a general vibe of what matters to me, and being fixed in my current scenario for the next 8 or 9 months, whilst trying to use my current scenario to implement and plan for changes I am going to make.

I actually think a big change is exactly what I need, and strangely the sexuality redefinition is the least of my thinkings regarding that. I am not saying it isn't huge for me to realise, it certainly is. But actually it has been great as part of a line of changes, rather than the only thing in my life that needs to be different.

Anyway, there's my two pence.

 

Most definitely see where you are coming from. In fact, the same issue is running around in my mind as next year I'm expected to go to a Catholic high school. But alas, this is not my thread to complain on. So go for it, my dear friend! Go for it, and find the you that you have been hiding within.
Your friend,
B

 

I can relate to this. I'm finally starting to really come out to myself, on the verge I think of coming out to others and it's gotten me reassessing so many other aspects of my life all at once. I too see it as wanting to be more fully ME. It feels scary and liberating all at the same time.

 

Though I'm still closeted, I see how that makes sense. I guess it's like you're a dog on a leash, and someone's cut you free. It's just the freedom to do what you want now, you don't have to pretend anymore