hi everyone. I realize I mostly post here when I need advice rather than to give advice, but it's mostly because I'm so confused! So last night something very exciting happened to me. my college's LGBT group was throwing a party and I went just to check it out. A cute girl asked me to dance. I was a bit awkward, so we went back to her room to get a few shots. Basically, I ended up staying there for 3 hours and we just talked for a really long time. she ended up walking me back to my dorm at about 3. I really want to see her again, but I'm so unsure about what to do to let her know I'm interested. I am sooo bad at reading signals and I'm just hoping she's still interested in me. what sorts of things can I do to express interest but not appear too creepy? I'm a sort of shy person and have never been in this position before. in high school I didn't date and this is the first time when another girl has expressed interest in me... I just don't want to screw this up b/c I really like her. :icon_bigg
>>>I really want to see her again, but I'm so unsure about what to do to let her know I'm interested. You stayed in her dorm room until 3 am. People tend not to do that if they're not interested. Swing by her dorm room, and thank her for the great night. Say you'd love to do it again sometime. If she's not home, leave a note on the door. Lex
I was thinking the same thing. If she didn't like you, you'd have been asked to leave or been back at the party in 10 minutes. Assume she's at least interetsed, and make it a point to see her again. Good luck!
thank you both so much! I was having a few hours of awkward self doubt. we're meeting for coffee tomorrow!
Good for you! If you have already talked that much,I'm sure things will go well. Good luck,have fun and....keep us posted!
to give an update to those of you interested: so we met up today and it was great! We mainly talked. I tried to indicate that I was interested in doing this again and she seemed cool with it. I'm mostly bad at flirting. I'm pretty awkward about knowing when to read signals, etc. hopefully she's not reading this as a friendship vibe...I'm a little worried that I'm not flirty enough or something. thanks again to everyone who offered advice
I don't think you should be all that worried about whether you're flirting enough; it's just kind of something that happens naturally. When *you* feel comfortable, however, you could maybe mention that you find her beautiful or compliment her some way... that's how my relationship with my current gf started!
I'm so sorry I'm always on here asking for tiny bits of advice...I've decided I must be socially awkward or something. So last week, we saw each other two more times, the last time being thursday at a campus group for queer and questioning women. I saw her talking to her friends afterwards and they all asked me if I wanted to come get coffee with them. the 2 of us ended up watching a movie back at her dorm and when I left to go back to my dorm she hugged me and said "see you soon". doesn't seem to be a problem, right? well, I am going nuts because I am not sure if I should be the one offering to meet up with her, or if I should wait for her to ask me. I was the one that did the inviting to coffee and I also have been initiating text messages just to say hi or whatever. she was the one that invited me to watch the movie with her. but basically, I don't want to be to forward or clingy. I guess I'm used to the traditional hetero relationship where the guy does most of the initiating. therefore, I don't know if I should do initiating, like asking her to meet me for dinner one night or sort of lay off a bit to see what happens. she seemed sort of shy as well, if that helps (I think her friends were encouraging her to ask me to get coffee). I don't want to mess this up. Basically, I'm soooo inexperienced and I really, really appreciate the advice of the people here who have "been there done that". hopefully being awkward now will at least teach me the dos and don'ts for the future and I'll start to become more comfortable in these situations. thanks in advance!!!
What's the worse thing that can happen if you ask her out again? She might say no. THEN you'll know where you stand. But if you don't ask her, and if she's too shy to ask (because she doesn't have awesome people giving her encouragement on an amzing forum! :icon_wink) they you'll never know! Don't start stalking her. That would be bad. Otherwise, I'm quite certain that she'd be flattered. If you'd like to see her again, then be honest and tell her that you'd like to see her again! It's just that simple! Good luck.
You should def. ask her to hang out! Give it a few days, then do it. What do you have to lose? Like they said, if you don't ask, you'll never know! You'll be so glad when you do ask her!
Totally stole what i was going to say. I agree, people tend to burn the candle at both ends if they're not interested. Staying over until 3am is definitely a good sign.
I have two friends who both like each other and have since last year and both told each other that they like the other, before the end of school last year, the first time they HELD HANDS was yesterday, during a power outage caused by some crazy winds that came through at lunch time, so no one could see them. The moral of this story is DON'T BE SHY!!! (but as Jim said, don't be so forward that you come across as stalker-ish)
