I have been seeing a therapist for over a year now, but have been completely unable to bring up my thoughts on my own sexual orientation. She assumes I am straight. Long story short, other than experimentation in college, I date men, but I am attracted to women. At this point in my life I think I need to be honest with myself about that. I just don't know how to bring it up and why I am so scared. It's almost as if I feel embarrassed about it. My family is conservative, and I am "supposed to" date men, or so I have let myself believe until now. I have talked to one friend about some of my feelings, she is gay and older, but am really afraid to bring it up in therapy. My therapist even asked me last week if I was ready to think about dating again. That would have been a good opportunity to bring it up, I even made a joking comment about women, but couldn't bring myself to approach it in a serious manner. I don't know what to do. Am I just not ready? Why am I so scared? How should I broach the topic?
I just told my therapist last week. I was scared too, there is something about putting it into words thats scary! Chances are, she's not going to judge you. I think I said something along the lines of, "one of the things I have been struggling with is questions about my orientation..." I'm past the questioning stage, and working more on just accepting myself.. but it seemed like a good way to open the door to the conversation.. Good luck!
I had problems just talking in therapy and I reached out here for help too. It was suggested to bring in my posts from the site to get the conversation started. It did help me get the ball rolling. Maybe give that a try. Once you say it and are able to talk about it you will feel so much better. Good Luck.
keep trying. your therapist should create an environment for you that provides you with the comfort to share. it's a good place to practice. you might start with '...last week i made a joke about dating women, but i'd actually like to talk with you about that.' best of luck.
I told my own therapist about my gender identity a few weeks ago, which took a lot of guts on my part. I think the way for you to go is to tell her. You have a right to your privacy, and she'll respect that. If she's like my therapist, she'll only tell anyone anything you tell her if it means you're going to harm yourself or someone else, or have done so already. I know it's really hard to to say something even you don't understand, but your therapist is a professional and will probably work with you to work out things. Good luck with this!!!!!! (*hug*)
