Since coming out, my parents are worried about my age, self-diagnosis, and T

I came out about my gender (and sexuality, but that was a minor detail) to my parents a week before National Coming Out Day, on October 4th.

Since then, they have been supportive and in agreement with my wishes to see a therapist to "make sure I'm right." However, there have been three concerns voiced by my mom:

1. I am 16 years old and that's when most people go through the "Who am I" identity crisis stage, as she words it. She believes that until we fully mature - which varies for everyone but she set a standard of 25 as an example - we shouldn't assume that we are transgender because it may only be part of the "finding yourself" process. She said that she went through this herself. According to her, I am young and impressionable, and that anything I read and seem to relate to, I'd label myself that way instantly. I wouldn't have doubted myself as much if it were just my mom saying that, but my mom has been talking to many therapists and they all - including my uncle, who has had about as much schooling as you can get in psychology -say the same thing: that I am young, naive, and may possibly believe I am transgender just because I relate to things trans people go through. Isn't that how you tell that you're trans, though?

2. I diagnosed myself with help from this site, and people on this site may have experience in this subject, but they cannot officially diagnose me. When I came out, I told them I had been on a forum for LGBT people (didn't say the name of it), and they told me that I cannot be diagnosed by people on here or by myself (which is true, I guess). They told me to limit time on this site, which I have been doing, and they are concerned that since others online are not official therapists, I may get the wrong idea.

3. She is devastated at the thought of me starting T and getting top surgery (in the future, of course, not at 16). I asked why, and she said that they, as parents, have tried so hard to keep my body as natural and healthy as possible by feeding me healthy food, keeping drug intake to a minimum, not letting me dye my hair, not letting me get tattoos, etc. They didn't take care of their bodies when they were younger and now are overweight and unhappy. I am very grateful for their dedication to keeping me healthy and my body unaltered, but my mom is so sad when thinking I'd alter my body for top surgery and T. She said, "It would go against what we've been trying to achieve through your whole life so far." She knows when I am 18 I can do whatever I want, but she still doesn't like it.

How would you react/defend yourself in this situation? I'm not saying I object to any of her concerns and will use your thoughts against her. I just want to know what you would say against this; it will help me analyze and think about how to handle their concerns.

 

Thank you guys. I know I have to make my own decisions, but with everyone around me questioning me, I don't feel sure of myself at all or know what direction I should be going in. Thank you, though.

 

She has gender and sexuality as two of the things she does, so I would imagine she's pretty friendly.

 

Thanks Brad! I really appreciate it.