'Coming Out' without emotions...

Hello and welcome , congrats on being able to tell your friends ,hardest part is admitting to your self then telling that first person. I would not ever tell you to rush right out and tell you parents , you will tell them when you are ready to .You can tell them how ever you are comfortable some people just say it some write emails ,or even letters ,a text works too it is all up to you and how you feel safe doing it . I do not know how they will react at all but know this we are here to talk if you need us so please do not feel that you have no one that understands because we do!! Thanks for including us in this coming out and I wish you all the best of luck my new friend

 

Hello

If you think coming out by text is the best way for you, then I'd go with that when you're ready. Coming out is a very personal thing, and you should do it in a way that makes you feel as comfortable as possible. Since your parents know you're a private person I'm sure they'd understand why you'd choose to do it that way. And if you're worried about your mom maybe (when you're ready) you can send the text when you know your parents are home together. That way she'll have someone there to talk to if she needs to.

 

Hey! congrats on your decision of coming out to your parents. texting/email sounds a good idea when you dont feel ready for that face-to-face situation. but i'd suggest be prepared for the unexpected reaction or questions, which is very normal and you should answer everything with utmost patience. just remember just like us, our parents deserve sometime too to digest the fact and come to terms with it. eventually they'l understand.. you just have to be little patient with them. good luck!

 

Write the email, maybe with the help of the Internet, as you could get a template.

Then set a date. You have to stick to it, unless something tragic has happened.

Send the text. Trust me this way will work. I haven't come out yet and I won't for awhile until I am comfortable, but I think this is a good way for me and a few other people I have heard about.

If the text isn't something you feel comfortable with in the last minute before you send and prefer to speak it; then speak it and tell them you thought it was best to tell them face to face.

Remember that even if they have a bad reaction, they aren't the only people in the world you need to 'impress'.

Be yourself, no matter what.

Good luck!

 

Congrats! Do you mind sharing how you did it and what you said? I'm also interested in a non-emotional conversation. (Only if you don't mind.)

 

It sounds stupid but exercising before telling something stressful may help you...it made me keep my cool...well, sort of

 

I'm glad it went well for you congratulations!

I wish my parents were like yours. I don't like emotional and long conversations either but my parents are so... I don't know how describe it, but they can't see that I shy away from all the emotional stuff so when I tell them I'm so not looking forward to it (that is if I actually come round to telling them at all.)

 

Thanks for sharing.
I did wonder about whether my mom would want to share this new "info" but can't decide if I care or not. I think I'd like her to keep it to herself for a bit while I calmed down from the experience but then don't think I'd care if she told people. Because then I wouldn't have to! Ha.

 

The first person I came out to was a friend, by text. I think that if you aren't comfortable coming out to your family in person, try 'practicing' on a friend you can trust. Coming out to close family, especially your parents, by text can send off the wrong vibe.

 

Congratulations!!! I figured you would get the emotional reaction no matter what, so I am really happy for you that it all worked out the way that you were hoping it would.

 

That's true. I guess because my grandparents are gone and none of my family is conservative, that I know of, and if they were I wouldn't care what they thought, I'm less concerned that I might be if my extended family found out. I actually have a 2nd cousin who came out a year or so ago so I guess people should be used to it. Although, he's a guy and for some reason I think people handle that better than if you're a girl. (I may be imagining that.) And I'm a bunch older than him so that's one more things they can think I'm weird about - as if there wasn't enough reason.

 

I think that people react differently, but not better; and with similar intensity whether it is a guy or a girl. I don't think those who react negatively with one give the other a pass. A lot of times, I think, it's because they are imaging what they think we do, and it grosses them out! :roflmao: In my case, what they're imaging is probably correct, but if they thought about what a lot of other guys do, they would really be freaked out! :lol: For most of us, L's, G's, B's, T's, Q's and all the others, male, female, or somewhere in between or beyond, it is tough to do. So I am always both impressed, encouraged, and filled with joy every time I read a story like Haim's that has SUCH a happy ending. :eusa_clap It really touches my heart deeply :tears:

 

it reminds me of what one economist joked about the difference between an economic recession and a great depression. He said that an recession is when your neighbor loses her job. a depression, on the other hand, is when you lose your job! :lol: same thing about stigma and coming out, when it's you (when it me!) it's always a lot tougher. I am EXTREMELY sensitive. Is it because I'm a gay man? Is it because I have had to always be sensitive to everyone so that I would know how to act, to pass? or is it because I'm me? I don't know the answers, but I agree with you that it is tough. And those comments that don't recognize the truth that we are coming to terms with, but rather try to dismiss it with platitudes is really frustrating! I join you in your tantrum! :tantrum: