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how exactly do you tell an overly religious parent your bisexual

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by awkwardlyme, Oct 25, 2014.

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  1. awkwardlyme

    awkwardlyme
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    hey

    i was just wondering how do i tell my mom im bisexual? i grew up in an extremely religious family and have always been a rebel but i love my mother and i dont want to hurt her or have the whole community shun her. my biggest fear she going to sever all ties because bisexuality goes against all of her religious beliefs.

    can someone please give me tips on how to come out to her
     
    #1 awkwardlyme, Oct 25, 2014
  2. Spartan 117

    Spartan 117
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    I came out to my mum who is also very religious and anti-homosexuality. I won't lie, it was a rough time but in my case, she didn't disown me. She wasn't happy, and she didn't publicise the fact I was gay but in the end I was ok with that. She said she loved me though she disagreed with my "life choices". She hasn't really mentioned it since. I know that sounds like a terrible result, but actually it was a lot better than I imagined. Hopefully, this will be the same in your case! As far as her friends, and her relationship with her community, I don't think you should carry around that guilt. You aren't responsible for how other people react, you can only do what you feel you need to for you and your mom's relationship.

    Remember, you don't have to rush in with something like this, make sure it's the right time for you to tell her. I know exactly how you feel and I do sympathise. (*hug*) I really hope it works out for you.
     
    #2 Spartan 117, Oct 25, 2014
  3. ForeverYoung000

    ForeverYoung000
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    Hey, I'm in the same boat you're in!

    ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2014 at 11:29 AM ----------
     
    #3 ForeverYoung000, Oct 25, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2014
  4. awkwardlyme

    awkwardlyme
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    thanks, i just well i guess timing is a factor i never really considered. i always seem to worry about what the community might say or how she will feel. now i can try and figure out how to come out and im hoping it goes well, thanks spartan 117
     
    #4 awkwardlyme, Oct 26, 2014
  5. antibinary

    antibinary
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    Don't get her in a bad mood or a OMG I'm so happy mood. Get her in a reasonably cheerful mood but no much that you might ruin her day.And not in front of everyone as that might cause her to act a certain way. Try telling her gently too.
     
    #5 antibinary, Oct 27, 2014
  6. awkwardlyme

    awkwardlyme
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    how do i break i her gently?
     
    #6 awkwardlyme, Oct 28, 2014
  7. Confused Teen18

    Confused Teen18
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    I would not suggest that you do it now if you aren't exactly ready. But then again, you're 22 and getting no younger so at some point in time, you'll have to make that decision.

    Don't just bring it on to her. Wait until you are alone with her then softly say "Mom, i'm gay". And just get it over with. Adding too many unnecessary information will just complicate things more.

    I don't know what her response will be but i do hope it does not cause too many family problems for you.

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Confused Teen18, Oct 28, 2014
  8. resu

    resu
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    First, try not to say you're questioning because that will give her an opportunity to try and convince you otherwise.
     
    #8 resu, Oct 28, 2014
  9. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    I'm wondering if your Mom, or any members of your extended family have expressed a particular view about LGB relationships in the past? Do you have any indication of their feelings (or the feelings of the wider community) on the subject? Opinions vary widely amongst persons of faith.
     
    #9 PatrickUK, Oct 28, 2014
  10. awkwardlyme

    awkwardlyme
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    my mom is as strict catholic and her views are its adam and eve not adam and steve, as much as she doesnt shun the LGB community she doesn't accept their "choice" and just assumes we have means to change it and her means are always the same its always prayer.

    its one of the many things we don't really agree on the concept of choice. i will try to find the appropriate moment to break the news to her and im hoping she understands, and i will keep it short which is a hard one for me but i will try. thank you for the advice you have helped me more than you know
     
    #10 awkwardlyme, Oct 29, 2014
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