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oh, what to do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by string3343, Sep 29, 2008.

  1. string3343

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    I am currently stuck in an awkward situation. You see, there is this girl that I have become good friends with. She looks up to me as a role model, and I think she is one of the few people who truly likes me for who I am. I think that she may have a crush on me, but I am not entirely sure. However, recently I have really wanted to tell her that I am gay. She is really nice and compassionate, and I honestly think that she would understand. The problem is that although I am sure of who I am and I am comfortable with it, I just do not know if I am ready to come out. However, I have been feeling almost restless about it lately, like I really need to do something and make a change in my life. I just feel like although I am scared, I am as ready as I will ever be to do something like this. I am really tired of hiding myself from everybody, and I want somebody in my own life to talk to about it.
     
  2. cityboy340

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    If you think that if you have the confidence that she will take it well than you should. If you think she likes you, approach it carefully. This happened to me too... this girl was my friend and I went to prom with her, and we were dancing and she was getting really close like kissing close :eek: and finally I just told her that I don't go that way (!) and it took a little bit of time, but she came around (and she did like me) so if she is understanding then it shouldn't be a problem. It is also reallly nice to have someone to confide in. Let me know if you need any more advice!!! (&&&)
     
  3. biisme

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    I guess you have to decide if you're ready to come out. And then, if you decide you are, this girls sounds like just the person to start with. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Pepsi

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    If your sure your ready then you should definitly tell her, If shes like you describe her Im sure she'll take it swiminglly
     
  5. Rosina

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    I agree with everyone else; she sounds like she'll be cool with it, and you sound ready to come out, so start with her, you know her pretty well.
    Good luck and tell us how it went!
     
  6. Mirko

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    Hi there! Before you do anything take a deep breath. As the others have mentioned you have to decide what would be best for you. If you feel ready and you believe that you can trust her then try to find a good time and talk to her. Remember that coming out for the first time, is one of the hardest things to do and it is okay to feel nervous and have all kinds of contradictory thoughts and feelings. Try concentrating on the positives - put an end to hiding, being yourself, having someone to talk to....and take it from there. From what you have written it seems that she would be supportive and accepting.

    Before you come out to her though, ask yourself: Am I ready for this? If the answer is yes, go for it. If not, take it slow and keep talking to her. Sometimes we need to get to know someone a bit better before we feel totally comfortable with coming out to them.

    Hope this helps! Good Luck!
     
  7. steveo

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    I found myself in a similar situation to yours when I came out to my friend. I knew she liked me so I asked her out because I was doing one of those if I'm with a girl then maybe I'll turn straight things (I was so stupid :eusa_doh:slight_smile:. I finally realized that I'm just hurting my friend more by leading her on a wild goose chase like that. To put it in perspective the longer you wait the more potential there is for her to get hurt. I don't mean to sound like I'm telling you to rush things by all means do it when you are ready. If you are sure she will accept you for who you are I would say go for it. When I came out to my friend it was like there was a new level of trust between us because I knew she would be there for me through whatever happened and she knew she could expect the same from me. Its nice to have something like that because when you come out to other people they might not be as accepting but at least you know one person has your back.
     
  8. BookWorm

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    the first thing you want to do is ask yourself: do you want to be out right now? and if the answer is yes, and you think that your friend will accept it, then tell her. it'll be scary at first but tehn you'll get past that and you'll feel a major sense of realief and yo'll be able to be yourself. It takes time and only you can know when the time is right.