I'm a pansexual early-teenager who wants to come out to my mum. However my mum says that 1) people my age can't know, and 2) most people who are bi/pan are just greedy (at least that was how I took her comments.) The fact that I've never had a partner won't help. I'm more scared of denial than hostillity, so should I tell her now or should I wait? Advise please. Thanks xxx.(*hug*)
I think that you don't necessarily need to have the experiences sexually to know whom you are attracted to. That said, depending on how old you are, you may not know what you want eventually out of life... that changes as you get older. I'm 36, and my wants/needs have changed throughout my life, sexually and in all other areas of my life. 1) Some people know they are gay/straight/bi/etc. from a very early age. Others take a long time... read around the boards, you will see people figuring it out at 13 and at 73. 2) Being bi/pan doesn't mean being greedy, it means you have attraction to people of both/all genders/sexes. It is your choice to act on as many of those attractions as you (and the other parties) choose. You can be involved in a lot of hook ups, or a bunch of serial monogamy type relationships, or open relationships, or some other version of what works for you and your partner(s). Some of that can look "greedy" to others, but ultimately, what works for you and your partner(s) is important. I always wondered how that was greedy? Are you "using up" partners other people want? If your partners are interested in the same types of relationships you are, they probably aren't interested in what your mom wants... I know that doesn't tell you what to do, but I'm not probably the best person to talk about that. I'm bi and in the closet to most people, and since I'm in a hetero marriage, I don't have a "need" to come out to my family and most friends, so I'm kind of playing chicken...
I know that bi/pan oesn't equal greedy, and while I have had several crushes on people of all genders, I have no desire to be in a relationship (unless they ask me,) so you can't call me greedy. My problem is that I'm far, far more likely to be met with denial than hostillity, and to be honest, and I really don't want to be met with denial. My question is, should I come out when I'm older.
