Ever since I have come out to my parents once they got over the cry and yelling stage they have been acting like it never happened and when I tried to talk about it to my mum she told me that she doesn't want to hear about it and we are not going to talk about it until I come and tell her that it was all a big stupid mistake and that there is no way I can be gay. I wouldn't mind not talking about it if they were ok with it, its not like it needs to be brought up all the time but there is a difference between not talking about it because they are ok with it and ignoring it completely. I don't think I can bring it up again, it feels like I'm going to have to came out all over again and once was bad enough but I don't want to leave it like this. right now I'm just regretting coming out to they at all.
Don't regret coming out to your parents, you would had to of sooner or later. What's happening is not your fault, you shouldn't have to feel regret for it. What your parents are going through now is the denial stage which is actually quite normal. Even though everyone takes the news differently when you come out, many try to deal with it by going into denial. Here's a link that may help you understand what they may be going through http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out/parentfamily-stages-of-grief.php Here's the section regarding denial: Now it's important to understand that it will take time for your parents to at least begin to accept you for who you are, just be patient with them even though at times it may hurt. My final piece of advice is to go to onto the PFLAG website, if the situation doesn't seem to be improving, and even if if does you may be interested in downloading some of the resources they have which help explain everything to your parents good luck and maybe consult some other people who have gone through what you've described, as I have not (yet)
Yeah, this is classic denial. I think its reasonable to allow parents to go through these emotions for awhile but if it continues for an extended amount of time, you may need to help them out of it. They probably do need some information to read. Let them know that you are sure and things won't be changing.
I've given them info but I don't know if they read it or not they don't say anything. I think they tried having a look on the PFLG site once because they aren't too good at hiding their tracks on the net lol but that was only like two days after I came out to them and now it seems to have all gone down hill from there. Now we disagree on everything and are always at each others throats and I'm not sure how much more I can take I just want out.
Your parents might be feeling as lost and shaken as you. Get your mum on her own and tell her that you love her and that you need her in your life. Tell her how much this situation is upsetting you and ask her if you can't try to work together to get through this. This is not a nasty illness that you will get over, this is a major thing in your life and your mum HAS GOT to come to terms with it wether she wants to or not. Download some pamphlets from Pflag and leave them on her bedside table then a few days later ask her if she has read them. There are loads of books on Amazone which might be useful to her as well. In some ways you are going to have to drag your mum kicking and screaming into your reality. The one she has in her head won't bring her or you happiness.
Ah... should have read this one first! You HAVE come out to your parents, and it isn't going well. Accept the things you can not change (someone else's mind) and change the things you can (the topics of conversation you bring up, the time you spend with your parents, the way you react to them and their comments). Good luck!
