I've been dating a boy for about a month now... He is very liberal and while I know that he excepts people in the LGBT community individually, I am afraid that telling him that I'm bi could ruin our relationship. I think people my age don't really understand what bi really means, and I am afraid he would think about it the wrong way. Please help. I love him and I believe he deserves to know some day, but I have no idea how to tell him.:tears::tears::tears:
A month is a short time to be seeing someone, although for you it might seem like a long time. From a time standpoint, I do not think you should be concerned. You have been with him sufficiently to know him and he know you. There are two approaches the I can suggest, but sure there are many others. First, you can tell him straight up. If he loves you like you love him, it should be fine. Or, you could start the discussion by first talking about the equality movement and anti discrimination laws. Get the discussion. Grease the wheels so to speak, and then slip in as part of the discussion that you are bi. However you approach it, be sure to reassure him that you love him and explain how your committed to him.
A past girlfriend of mine would just drop it into conversstion, as if it were just another part of her. There was never an awkward "coming out" to me per se, and actually that was nice. Even though she did not come off as awkward or scared, knowing her I think she may have been. You may be at the begining stages of coming out, like me (I could never even tell that gf even though she bravely told me) so maybe that's not quite in the cards just yet. But I would say the earlier in the relationship the better. I would say from having come out to my current gf, that the build up and tension you put on yourself before coming out is often completely unnecessary, and it can be such a relief to get off your chest. It may not affect him much or he may even be really into it...maybe you can talk about hot girls together. I think the things to make sure you think about and address are: 1) how, if at all, you see this revelation affecting your relationship. Are you still going to want to be exclusive? Etc. This might alay fears he might have, or clear things up for him. 2) how well do you feel you know him, trust him (especially if down the road there is a breakup) 3) reassure him that this is about you and not about him, or your attraction to him 4) help him understand the sexuality spectrum, or what bisexual means to you
First thing first - Do you still want to be with him regardless of the choice that you now have other options? If yes, i think you should tell him, while reassuring him that you still want to be with him, but just wanted to let him know the truth.
Thank you so much! This was actually solid advice. Hopefully telling him won't be as bad I made it up to be...
