I'm kind of in an odd situation. I think I might have mentioned this in passing in another thread of mine, but that was awhile ago. I could really use some advice about this now. It's been weighing on my mind lately. Basically, I unintentionally closeted myself at work this summer. I was so lost in my own head I didn't even notice it. I worked with really great accepting people, and one of them was even gay so coming out to them wouldn't have been an issue. Some of these people will probably be coming back next summer. One of them even comes back to my town to visit family and might work with me again part time over the thanksgiving holiday. I'd really like to be open with them, but I'm not sure how to now that so much time has gone by. How can I do this without it being weird?
Hmm... A little more background might be good. When you say you closeted yourself to them, what did you do? Did you just avoid talking about relationships and people you are interested in? Did you go further and indicate there was no possible way you could be attracted to other women? I might consider waiting until the topic of relationships came up and bring up the girl you're seeing or interested in.
I didn't talk about very many personal things unless asked. The topic of relationships never really came up. I wasn't interested in anyone at the time (which is still the case) so there wasn't anything to talk about there. That also never came up in conversation anyway. I didn't say anything that would make them think I wasn't interested in women, but I didn't say anything that would make them think I was either.
Sounds more like you just didn't discuss the general topic at all. I suppose I'd just wait for the topic to come up, and maybe correct assumptions as appropriate.
Yeah it just wasnt a topic that came up. Which is a little odd now that I'm thinking about it. People are usually so nosy about those things. But I guess I will just have to wait, like you suggested. I can't think of any other way. Since it hasn't come up at all before I'm not sure what the chances of it happening are, but we'll see. Thank you for your advice.
Well, is there a particular reason why you want them to know? Will it make you feel more comfortable with them knowing? If so, and if your comfortable with them knowing in the environment in which you work, any reason not to be proactive about it and just mentioned it to someone casually? Water cooler talk amongst your colleagues type of discussion? You can say "anyone have plans this weekend? I have a date with a girl" or something like that.
I've found that I can't form decent bonds of friendship with people without being open about myself. It's possible to be friendly, but there's still a distance that I can't bridge. If that makes sense. Feeling like there's an invisible barrier between me and people I spend extended amounts of time with has become somewhat distressing for me. I'm more reactive than proactive when it comes to personal chitchat, but I suppose I could give something like this a try if a time comes when it feels right. That would've been easier to do in the beginning, but now that it's several months later, I dunno. But I guess either way it's going to come a little out of left field.
Do you have a girlfriend? If so you could bring it up in conversation like Oh yeah my girlfriend likes that. Or you could causally comment on a female celebrity you find attractive. Or mention that you are going to/wanted to go to a pride thing if one is happening near you.
I don't have a girlfriend. I could try the celebrity thing. I'll keep it in mind along with the other suggestions. Thank you
how about this one, make a comment asking if anyone saw how Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, just came out publicly, and express gratitude how another one of the tribe did so
