Before, I never identified myself with the same gender, so when people made gay jokes it never offended me. But now that I realize that some part of me is gay, one of the difficulties I will be facing is people who make those same gay jokes that I would join in on: "You're so gay! Lol" or "So ghey lol". I know it's a joke and all, but I'd like to be prepared. Advice?
In personal environments, with friends, in a social setting, I am pretty direct and transparent, so if a comment is made, I have no issue telling the other that a general insult is an insult me. In my office, never had the issue, so not sure how I would react. Outside of my office, whilst on business, it depends whom the individual is, how well I know them. Case in point, I was in a car with another person, not someone from work, and the other guy made a gay joke. I looked at him and in a laughing humorous was said I liked the joke given how I was the punch line. He apologized and went on to explain how is brother is actually gay.
Ever since I accepted my bisexuality, I'm paying more attention to homophobic comments, though I'm not directly offended by them. I take them as an indicator of society's current openness. This has played a significant part in my decision NOT to come out (yet), because I heard these from friends and family too. However, when my time comes to come out, I'm sure I'll be totally offended by these kind of remarks, because I'll take them as personal bullying.
When people used to say that to me, I'd just say 'so what if I was?' and they'd shut up, now though, that just eggs them on. The only thing I've been able to do is just ignore it. Sorry I didn't have better advice xx
Everytime I hear it I want to punch them in the face or cry, depending on who it is. I don't expect jokes and comments to be made when I, or anyone, is fully out. At least they won't be made by family or friends, there will always be assholes.
For whatever reason gay jokes don't really bother me. I usually just roll my eyes and carry on with my life. But that might come from being bullied the majority of my life to the point where I've just given up caring if someone is mocking me or not. The only things that really bug me is when people assume I'm going to get a boyfriend or marry a dude because for fudge sake I am not into dudes. I guess I'd be careful about "calling someone out" when they make a gay joke. Just in case they are one of those people that will end up beating you up. If I'm in the the situation where people are trying to make me join in I just look at them with a naaah expression on my face and that usually shuts them up for some reason. Of course if someone I know turns round to me and says "You are so gay." (it happened once when I was sort of telling this person about my crush ) I just replied with "I knooooow."
The only time I've really experienced gay jokes is when they are not direct or not really meant to offend someone. Before I came out a lot of my friends frequently made gay jokes, but stopped after I came out. I told them it doesn't bother me, them making jokes. So long as the joke is not intended to insult or offend I don't really see a problem with it, in fact some of them can be quite funny. However, if I were to hear someone I knew making a joke at someone's expense, or to insult someone, I would quickly confront them about it, tell them exactly why what they said was unacceptable. I'm a very direct person, don't bother pussyfooting around haha but if it was a stranger I would simply shrug it off and tell them their entitled to their opinion, even if it is a ridiculously 'old world' opinion. Hope this helps (*hug*)
