Why come out as Bi? What purpose does it serve?

I found it comforting to come out as bi. I no longer felt like I was lying to myself, or that I was hiding a key part of who I was.

 

I personally prefer dating men, so it would have trouble hiding it. Even though I have haters it's great being honest to myself. Also, I made a lot of friends who are bi, too. It's your choice. But it just hurts to hold it in. It may be rough at first but in the long run you'll be glad you came out.

 

I see what you're saying, but I agree with phoenix. I don't feel like I'm lying to myself, however, I do feel like I'm hiding a part of myself from those close to me. I think they have a right to know if I'm interested in their gender, as well as the opposite sex. Then it won't be a surprise if I start dating a girl. I don't want it to be like 'oh, I only told you I was pan because I felt like I had to now I'm with a girl'

 

It is more like you come out as bi if you want to announce yourself as "available" to both sexes, or to explain your behavior of dating both sexes to someone who is within your circle of family, friends, or acquaintances who observe what you are doing and need to understand what they are seeing, which otherwise might not make sense to them.

 

I helps let people know bisexuals actually exist , the more people come out as bi the less likely people will treat it as something that's not real .
Plus it lets others know who are interested in dating you that you ore open to dating or sleeping with both sexes .

 

I guess if you come out as bi then you can talk to your friends about anyone you find attractive without them being like wait what? But it obviously does have stigma and stuff since some people are idiots so there's pros and cons. I guess it'd be up the the individual to decide whether or not to say anything.

 

I just like people to know I suppose. Like I know what you mean for sure, I've questioned it a ton myself. But I personally find it easier to be open about who I am. It's better for me to get what I want, and I hate the feeling of having a secret.

 

I see what your saying about telling everyone, even though they don't ask. That's something I've never done, if it comes up in conversation then I won't lie about it, but I don't go out of my way to tell people haha I'm not camp and have always worked in predominantly straight males workplaces (oil company workshop, warehousing, etc.)

Hope this helps (*hug*)

 

Me ?

 

The bolded is why I came out as bi to my friends and my brother and sister.

 

@Nelly4 yeah if it does come out in a conversation, I'll feel more comfortable telling people the truth then lying about it to myself. Of course, it would probably be awkward, but hey that's like telling a joke and realizing immediately how stupid the joke was.

 

I'm not bi--although I once thought I might be. But I'll give my take on the purpose coming out serves, mainly because I don't think it has much to do with announcing your intentions to date anyone but just being honest with others about who you are. I think it depends what you count as coming out. If you are talking about sitting people down and having "the talk", well I haven't had the "the talk" with anyone in over 20 years--but pretty much everyone I know, even relatively casual acquaintances, knows. What I do instead is be absolutely candid with everyone around me. If a client mentions a restaurant my partner and I have been to I tell them that we went. If the few girls in the office are having a giggling fit about the new UPS guy I join in. It's possible that being out would genuinely serve no purpose to you. It's always possible that you aren't censoring yourself at all and it still isn't coming up. I know for me it would be easy to censor it out--I don't have to join in all the little conversations around me that have to do with attraction and I don't have to tell anyone what I did over the weekend and, well, strangers tend to assume I'm straight any way. The fact of the matter is that before I came out it didn't really seem like much of a strain to keep the secret... until I stopped and then I realized all the little ways in which I died inside every time I decided I couldn't really answer that question like everyone else did because well I'm not alright--and that really is the message you're sending yourself every time one of those filters pops up. You have no idea how liberating it is to take away all those little filters about whether it's safe to share until you do it.

 

I think there are different opinions of what coming out is.
It's not always sitting someone down and saying "I have something I need to tell you".
Sometimes it's just a casual, relaxed, in-conversation, open, "by the way" thing.
You don't even have to say the words "I'm gay" or "I'm bi". You could just be talking about a guy or girl you're attracted to, who you spent your weekend with, who you're dating or who your partner is or what your partner does. Just being open about these kinds of things is what coming out means to a lot people (myself included). Not hiding your personal or social life from friends and family.

Being asked and saying yes is even a way of coming out - if you're lucky enough to naturally give out the kind of energy that makes people ask.

It can also help if your friends ever want to play cupid for you.

Funny story: I have a male friend who's bi and is in a long term relationship with another guy. For a long time at work he always referred to his partner as Aaron without any fanfare or drama (because Aaron is his partner's name).
One day recently, one of his work colleagues asked about his girlfriend Erin. A short explaination and much laughter followed. Well, I thought it was a good story.

 

I think coming out as bi or pansexual or anything else does serve a purpose.. It shows the people we tell that we are interested more then just one gender, for the purpose of perhaps wanting to date, then I think it is very important if you want to date someone of the same gender or opposite gender, how will they know you are interested if they think you are straight or gay? I don't want to lie to people and say I am something when I am in fact not that.. I would be lying if I said I was straight and lying if I said I was gay.. So if I want to be honest to the people around me, then I need to just say it as it is and say I am pansexual...

 

i see, i think i see, what you are asking and i view it like this; for me, when i come out to my son i will live my life and if people ask i'll tell them i'm BI if they don't they can assume whatever they like as long as they aren't assholes about it.

cheers

 

Personally, it was hard for me to hold it in. I felt like I was lying to myself and everyone that was around me. This way, I feel like I'm okay and I can date a girl and it's fine, and I can talk about any cute girl I have my eye on with my friends and not have it be a huge deal

 

I'm not bi, but for several reasons:
- Because you're interested in a relationship and you want people of the same sex to know you're available
- Because you're being true to yourself and your partner and won't have to hide
- To help educate an opposite sex partner on LGBT issues when you realize your identity is important to you