I could really use some advice here. For the last year or so, I've been seriously thinking about coming out and changing genders. I mostly resigned myself to the tactic of "waiting until I'm an adult and can move out of my parents' houses", but then I found this site, with a group of people who might be able to help. The biggest problem is the situation I am currently living in. My family is mostly conservative Muslim, so you can imagine the issues there. My dad might be more accepting (my parents are divorced btw), considering he was okay with me coming out as an atheist. My mom probably absolutely won't approve. She definitely takes the whole "conservative" thing to heart, and she still thinks homosexuality is a sin. (Never mind the fact that I'll still prefer girls.) :bang: Also, I'm typing this in my mom's house. Just saying. High school might be okay. There's a fairly large LGBT population, and an official club/support group. I'm just afraid of what my friends might say, especially considering all of them are male, pasty white, straight, and geeky gamer man-children like myself. (Except I'm neither white nor pasty.) Thankfully, none of them are the misogynistic, trans/homophobic assholes gamers are sometimes stereotyped as. I have only one LGBT friend, and they're still in the closet. I have no female friends, and the acquaintances I do have either pity me or regard me with indifference, so there's no support to be found there. What should I do? Please help!
I think it might be best if you went slowly. If you're younger than 16, it might be wise to leave it until a little later to come out fully, but you could start changing small things to make you feel more feminine (growing your hair out, etc). And if you intend to fully transition, it is not a decision to be rushed. Take your time, make sure you are completely sure this is what you want, and then come out. If your dad would be okay with it, you should probably come out to him first. The key thing is: Don't rush anything, you have plenty of time. Come out whenever you're ready, be it now, or five years in the future. I hope everything goes well for you
I defiantly agree with ForNarnia (whose out status is AWESOME btw) and think that you should maybe wait a bit before defiantly deciding to go through with it. Your years in education are difficult enough anyways without having the difficulties and stress of such a major operation, and also any added stress that could be caused from classmates, etc. because I won't lie, I myself still don't fully understand what makes a person want to go through with it (never been in that situation), so I can imagine how some high school students could react. Honestly, I would get your education out of the way before considering doing anything, as difficult as it may be to wait, I'm sure it would be the better option. Hope this helps (*hug*)
Thanks guys! Although, I had no intentions of getting surgery right away. That would be a bit unnecessary.
I was raised in a strict Catholic family. One day I kind of said to mom as a joke, when I broke up with a boyfriend, "You know what mom, I should just be gay." She looked at me with eyes I had never seen before, about two inches away from mine, and said, "If you ever do that, I will disown you." She meant it too. I have never told her I am bi and don't ever intend to. I say, if they have a problem with it is is their problem, not yours. I'm not getting surgery anytime so it's easy for me to hide it from them forever: not out of shame, but because I don't really care what they think about it (Disown me? No, I'll disown your right to know me that well). But if you do get that surgery and afterwards they obviously find out, you know what, you don't owe them so much that you can't be yourself. Hell, they might even surprise you. But for now, I agree with the other people here and say don't tell them. Check out the support club at your school, but take it slow with coming out to anybody.
Paisley - what if you end up with a woman? Would you tell them at that point, or are you not that close (location) to where you could hide it easily?
Actually I am in a whole other state. My family isn't very close anyway. In fact I feel pretty antagonistic/apathetic towards many of them and I would have no problem with leaving them in the dark about anything going on in my life. If they knew half the stuff I've done anyway, they'd freak lol So maybe my situation isn't typical. But I still say, parents are supposed to love and accept their kids, and if they don't it's their problem.
I don't disagree with you (about parents should love/support kids)! I'm just a wimp about "getting on their bad side" so to speak.
It's not wimpy. People want to be accepted by their parents. I just know that's never going to happen for me. Thankfully that isn't always the case with everyone.
