I have been considering sending a letter to my dad's family this side of Christmas to explain why they haven't seen me in a while and tell them that I'm trans. The reason I wanted to do this before Christmas was because it's also my birthday the week before and I'm dreading another year receiving cards for the wrong gender and in my birth name. Also, I think it's only fair they know now. It's very nearly a year since I properly realized that I'm trans and that my birth name felt alien to me. On a related note, I feel like I need to make it clear to them that I'm an independent adult and not a child. I'm almost 27 and still receive children's birthday cards from my dad's sister. It's ridiculous. Coming out to them as transgender would also give me the opportunity to tell or show them that it's high time they treated me like the adult I am. The problem is I'm not as independent as I would like before sending this letter and I am concerned about the fallout. A while back there was an incident in the family where my aunt was ringing my parents in opposition of my sister's decision about something. Even though my sister was probably about 19 or 20 at the time, my aunt insisted that she wasn't a grown up and thought that my mum should take over the responsibility from her. I'm worried she'll do the same thing, ringing my parents constantly because she is retired and has nothing else to think about, telling them I'm not a grown up and shouldn't be allowed to make these decisions about my gender. If I could afford to rent my own flat, I would leave my dad to deal with these phone calls (as bad as that sounds) but as I'm going to be at home for a while longer I don't think I could cope with her ringing all the time. I know it sounds harsh but I can't take on everybody else's issues with me being trans. I have enough to worry about. I understand that people may find it difficult but the way I see it, it's up to them to deal with their own reactions and seek out help if they feel it's necessary. I think just by writing this I've already made up my mind. I can't tell them yet.
Work up the courage almost any time is right u will have to put up with shit for a couple of weeks but it's worth it to be who you really are btw I've only came out about it this year and in about a month most people was getting the pronouns and name right so just come out about it if u need any advice u can ask me cos I'm trans too
Thanks Complex. I guess you're right. There never is a 'right time' for these kind of things. I'm just scared I won't be able to handle the fallout when I'm struggling with anxiety, depression and gender dysphoria as it is.
No problem but you shouldn't worry too much it took me 3 years to work up the guts to come out and the funny thing is most people were good with it it took awhile for everyone to adjust though but things defintly improve a lot! So don't worry too much okay?
