Hi! I have been to this site multiple times to read advice of other people's posts, but never actually taken the time to give advice or ask something myself so here goes nothing So a problem I have been facing for a while now is that I am having trouble to truly connect/befriend people at work. I am working at this place for a few months now, but have been there almost a year. I know the people pretty well, but just recently started to befriend them a little more...but I feel like this won't happen unless I can be truly honest about myself towards them. I would really like to tell them about my sexual orientation just to get it over with and to be fully open, but I also feel like I don't want to randomly bring it up as that would be so awkward. Various people have asked me a few times if I had a boyfriend, but just told them no and reacted a bit awkward, but I don't think they suspect anything. I don't have a girlfriend so I can't bring that topic up. On the other hand, telling them now feels like its too late and I have lied to them the whole time... ugh idk. I have asked myself numerous times why I care so much if they know, because I could happily keeping working closeted like now, but I am truly just so sick of hiding who I really am. I just don't see any opportunity when I could do so and I feel like it would be weird telling them after they have already asked me a couple of times if I have a boyfriend and such... Anyway I am rambling too much already, I would just be happy to see if any of you were in the same scenario and/or have any advice? :icon_bigg
Not in the same scenario, but I always like to suggest the "casual coming out" method, which is basically just mentioning your sexuality in passing. For example, when they ask you if you have a boyfriend, you can either say, "No, I don't swing that way" or a more blunt, "Nah, I like girls instead." You can also wait and see if they ask why, and if they do, you can reply in a similar manner. If you talk with a bunch of people, you can start complimenting women as they pass by. Unfortunately, this might not really work as effectively as it would if you were a guy, because society seems to think men can't compliment other men, but women can. So, if you want to try this out, use words like "sexy" and "hot" - you might get away with "so pretty" and "very beautiful" or just "gorgeous" and "amazing" if you do it often enough, but some people don't get the clue no matter what you say. Good luck!
I've been out everywhere I've worked for the last 10 years. In the beginning I made a big deal of it. I told the couple people I was most friendly with, then a few others I thought would be fine with it, then eventually office blabbermouth (every office has one), so I knew it would get around to the other 40 employees without me having to tell each one. I've now gone more towards the more casual approach. If someone asks if I've got a girlfriend, I simply say no, but I just broke up with a guy I dated for 8 years. Or, if they ask what I did that weekend, I'd say, I just got back from a weekend in Charlottesville, my ex went to UVA, and I lived there with him for 2 years. Or, if someone asks what you're up to this weekend, I may say I'm having a date this weekend, "oh wow, finally getting a girlfriend?" "No, but he seems like a great guy, time will tell". Each person has their own style. No way is right, no way is wrong. It's what works for you. I wish you the best and am sure it'll work out great!
