Hi all, So a little about me... I'm 27, female, in the military. I haven't had a steady boyfriend in about 7 years. I go out with guys from time to time, but there is usually alcohol involved. I realize now that I've been denying myself for a long time. The last time I remember having a strong attraction to a guy, I was in middle school. Shortly after, I fell for a girl for the first time. I think I've always liked both, but that was when girls really started to win out. Anyways, said girl broke my heart. I never made a move, but that doesn't stop you from getting your heart broken. I convinced myself that it was normal. After all, my mom had told me that questioning your sexuality was perfectly normal... That I didn't have to act on it. Fast forward 15 years [ of dating men] , and I'm out in California for work. I haven't had feelings for another human being in years. I meet this waitress. As soon as our eyes meet, it's like being electrocuted. This time, I allow the feelings. She turns out to be straight, but my life is changed forever. So here i am, 2 months later, looking at girls on a dating website. My mom knows I'm exploring myself, as do a handful of close friends. My dad is catholic, and my sister is extremely religious. I'm a person of faith, but not like she is. I don't know how they will take it if in gay. The thing is, I met someone on the dating website in interested in. And the feelings I'm having... Nervousness, anticipation... I don't get those feelings. I'm starting to feel like maybe I've found myself. Anyone else have a similar experience? I feel more alive inside than I have in years!!
I'm happy for you and what sounds like the beginning of an exciting adventure of self discovery. I'm not sure if I have any sage advice...but it sounds like the past many years have not been working for you romantically, have not stirred your soul like the "electric" feelings you are now feeling. Your family may or may not understand,but you need to do what's right by you. They will not understand what it feels like for you to have those feelings, simply because they are not you. But you can help them understand and accept you for the complete and happy person you are. I wish you the best! If you need an ear, I'm here!
Thanks for the reply! I'm doing my best. I'm mostly doing okay, all things considered. First gay date next week, any advice?