So, Hi everyone! As a newbie to the forum, I must say, my heart is in my mouth as I write this. I'm not sure if this is the right board for this post, but I just need advice... How should I come out to my parents? I got out of bed thinking "TODAY IS THE DAY!" And now I'm terrified thinking "No, no, no" Any ideas on how to overcome this fear? :help:
Welcome to EC! For answers, you may wanna take a look at these sites How to Come Out to Your Parents | eHow How to Come Out of the Closet | eHow If they are homophobic then.... http://m.wikihow.com/Come-Out-to-Strict-Religious-Parents-When-You're-Gay Hope this helps!
To my knowledge they aren't homophobic, but, my mum is very catholic :tears: If this were twitter, I'd be #panicking.
It doesn't matter how you do it, just make sure that you do while you have your mind set on it. It's so easy to make excuses or find reasons not to do it (look at me... :dry, but there's never a perfect time. You will feel so, so much better once you do this. It will quite possibly be the best decision you make in your life. Good luck!
If you have set your mind to it and intend telling them today the best thing is to get them together soon and say it quickly. Something like: "I've had something on my mind that I'd like to share with you and I hope I can count on your support. I'm bisexual". If you put it off or go into a long build up you may talk yourself out of it. Do you still live with them and do you have any idea how they will react? Have you prepared yourself for their comments or questions? Have you told anyone else who can offer support afterwards, if you need it? I'm not trying to talk you out of it, I just want to make sure you have support in place. If you tell them, good luck and let us know how it goes. Remember, we are here for support.
Thanks guys! You're certainty helping me be less of a panicky mess. As I said before, my main worry is my Mum's reaction. As a strict catholic I'm not sure how she'll take the news (especially as she has brought me up to be "perfectly caltholic" I guess as well)
i dont know if this will help or not, but it helped me, when coming out to my friends, to think of the good. to think of the good reaction they will have. i was prepared for the worst, but i was always thinking of the good things that will come out of this, no matter their reaction. like that you wont have to pretend anymore. like that you can be yourself. like that you can finally be free. I hope that this helps. good luck to ya
Oh...my parents are very homophobic. My plan on telling them is leaving them a letter when I'm 18. Once I'm independent and live on my own. That way, if they kick me out, I'd already have a place to live. Only 2 more years...:smilewave:tears:
That's a plan. I've came out to 2 friends, largely because they have been my friends for ever... It always seems far easier for me to come out to friends than family, despite that your family should "love you, no matter what." It seems like that isn't the case today :tears:
On the point about Catholics, try to keep in mind that Pope Francis wants the Church to show more humility and a greater welcome to LGB people. He has cautioned against hostile inflexibility and strict adherence to the 'word' within the past month. If your Mum is faithful she will be only too aware of this.
I was not aware of this. I just made it halfway down my stairs, and panicked again. :icon_sad: So close
Please take a deep breath and calm down ! I understand where you are coming from it is hard to come out and all I can say is you will come out when you are ready and don't try to rush things . They will love you no matter what you are the child ,yes they may get upset with you from time to time but they still love you . I wish you all the best of luck my friend . I am here if you ever need to talk just give me a shout out
Hi there! It's okay if it didn't happen today. And it is also okay if it doesn't happen tomorrow. Starting to think about how to come out, and what you would like to say, as well as the want itself, are good indications that you are getting to the point of being ready. You will know when the moment has come to let your parents know. Remember that coming out to your friends is often times 'easier' than coming out to your parents. You have already started to create the support network that has provided you with the confidence to get this far. If it helps, maybe try coming out to another friend, or someone who you know that would be supportive/accepting, which might just give you that last little bit of confidence. If you find it hard to speak with your parents in person, it might help to think about writing a letter, and leaving it for them to read. If you wanted to, you could have a read through the coming out letters that EC members have shared, here. Writing out what you would like to say, might also help you to organize your thoughts better and that in itself could provide an additional boost to your confidence.
tricky situation! all the best to you. you know, when i hinted to my parents that i thought i might be bisexual, i wasn't prepared for the response. i figured they would be a little surprised and then the usual: we love you no matter what. i know them that well. but what i got was the last part but without the surprise. actually their response was that: oh i went through a phase like that in my late teens too. i mean, i'm glad it wasn't outrage, but bisexuality is often misunderstood, so you should be prepared for a bit of explaining. then again, i was a little relieved, as i at that point wasn't quite ready to take it seriously myself. take care! let us know how things progress ^^
Thanks, guys! I will try coming out to another friend, it's just who. I've already came out to the less "homophobic" (in the sense that they don't really have anything against LGBT, they just use language that is now deemed appropriate :tantrum: ) friends! Another thing is, that there are simply so many bisexual "myths" that it wouldn't so much be a letter as an essay I would end up giving to my parents :lol: I do think that a letter or something along those lines may help cool the nerves and make me feel ill every time I go to tell them, though. So, again, thanks (*hug*)
