This is gonna be long but I'll try to make it as short as possible. So I'm 18. I'm gay (no doubt about it) and am in a bad situation. My family is extremely homophobic maybe even anti-gay. I know if I come out I will be disowned. I have no friends at all except family. I can't have a job (not aloud for cultural reasons "gypsy"). My family will eventually arrange a marriage for me. I don't want to live a lie. I have one "friend" that might keep it a secret. He my nephew, were close in age and he is just homophobic. He just gets uncomfortable around lgbt people (mostly gay guys). Were really close id say he's my bestfriend. He's catholic and there a chance he would freak out and tell everyone. Should I tell him first? How do I get allies/lgbt friends? I'm really shy. I just want someone to talk to about things I like that I can't talk about wth family. Like boys.....and stereotypically "gay" things like equality and topics like that. There's some people that i see at the gym (I go with my bestfriend and his dad, but there moving so them catching me talking to them is not a problem after they move) I think they are lgbt. The one that come the most is a girl that I hope is lesbian. She wears boy clothes and has short hair. My gaydar goes off when these people are around lol. She sometimes brings her friends. One is a "girl" I think. She wears sports bras and stuff. But she looks like a boy. So I assumes she's a trans male. And one guy who wears beanies and really short shorts in the gym. He's really hot too lol (tall,muscular legs, nice face,) he acts kinda gay. Do you think they could potentially be friends? I'm desperate to talk I feel so lonely and all I do is read this forum and watch lgbt youtubers to cope with being gay. Btw is it normal to dislike straight people? I envy them because life is so easy for them. They don't have to "come out" which is SO scary. All they do is complain that there life is hard and bad. I want to punch them in the face lol jk Sorry for so many questions, but I feel like talking with someone. I also want a boyfirend.......one day I suppose *looks far in the distance emotionally* Oh and I know I'm a strong person. cause I make for sure to never cry about these feeling cause I'm better then that and I don't deserve to feel that way.
Hi Gypsycloset, welcome to EC! Sounds like you have a tremendous amount of pressure on you...arranged wedding??? Seriously??? That sounds almost like a movie script. I don't think I'd tell anyone until I have some sort of support system in place... Somehow I don't think your cousin is it right now... What if he tells your family? I don't think you should risk it until you have a plan B that you can fall back onto. I must admit I don't know anything about Gypsy culture, not being allowed to have a job and being married off is totally foreign concepts for me. Are you allowed to go study and do you have the means to go and study? Somehow I think it would be awesome if you could get some independence and distance, meaning being able to set yourself up where you'd be able to provide for yourself in future should your family react negatively toward you. Meeting people in a social setting like the gym is a great place to start meeting other LGBT people and if you need to talk, this is a good place to do that too. It's your life... You should make your own choices and live it the way you want to.
Thanks for the reply! If I might add. It's not exactly a arranged marriage, it's more they expect me to meet a gypsy girl (on Instagram or at a wedding) and then they arrange it. If I wait too long they will question my sexuality and the rest of the gypsy world will label me gay lol. On the subject of studies. I went to a weird private school. So i basically payed for a high school education without learning much (probably a 5th grade level). I know I could probably get a job. But I'm not aloud to go to college even though I regret not learning back then. I'm in a tight situation. I feel trapped. :bang: I kind of thought my nephew would be accepting but your probably right and it was just wishful thinking. The reason I know I will be disowned is because of this conversation. Me: "all gypsy girls are no good and they all cheat on there husbands, I'll just get a white girl and get a job" Dad: "if you did that I would disown you" :bang::bang::roflmao: Also my dad disowned my brother for marrying a girl he didn't approve of.
Ouch! In the end you'll have to live life for yourself and not for others. If you have the means you can study trough the mail, lots of universities offer online courses and degrees. If I was in your shoes I'd propably try to qualify myself in something and build up a business or a career for myself so that should my parents disown me I can take care of myself and build my own life. But it does sound like a tight spot to be in...
