Hi. I'm new to this site. Just looking to get some advice or someone that may be able to relate to my situation. I've known for a very long time I was into girls (probably since I was 10). I would basically force myself to be attracted to men or do what was "normal", but at the end of the day I knew what I really wanted. I've been in the closet & denying myself up until about 3 years ago when I got involved with my best friend. We've been friends for about 11 years and I began feeling like I would always have with girls, this undeniable connection and things progressed into us becoming physical. This was kept a secret for those 3 years. We would always act on the outside to everyone else that we were "best friends", but behind the curtain it was more than that. This began to weigh on me greatly. I wasn't happy loving someone in secret anymore. So basically 6 months ago I ended that relationship. I've also come out to a close friend of mine who is also gay, and a family member (aunt) that I am very close with. Anyway, I'm going to tell my other friends soon, but what is weighing on me the most I feel is telling my mother. We have a good relationship and she is a pretty conservative/catholic person. Keep in mind I am still living at home (in the process of looking to buy a house). I hate that I've waited so long in my life to come out, but this is all I think about everyday. I try a pretend conversation with my mom and I don't even know how to start one. I just end up crying and I can't even finish and I get so caught up in what I assume her reaction will be that I just stop. I know she suspects bc she has questioned me before if I was gay in high school & also not that long ago she asked me if I will ever meet someone, but ultimately wants me to be happy. I feel like I blew both of those opportunities to come out to Her bc I wasn't ready & was caught off guard. If anyone has any advice or can relate please share with me! Thank you
Hi Ladywolf, I have also rehearsed conversation starters in my mind but have yet to use any. I don't know if any of these sound like they would work for you but here's what I've come up with. "Do your friends ever ask about my/our unattached status?" (I have siblings who are also adults but unpaired up. Not gay, tho.) "I think/You know you're right. I'm not interested in a relationship with a man." "I've been thinking I should tell you something. It's not serious and basically nothing will change but I prefer women to men." The problem with my mom is that she's so bloody easygoing and not a feather-ruffler that I'm going to have to carry the whole weight in a conversation like this. I'd actually like her to probe just a bit.
