As some of you may know I been seeing a woman online since July. I love her, she's everything I ever wanted. If all goes as planned she could be moving to within 90 minutes of my place which will be amazing! There's just one Lil detail....I'm still very much in the closet. My girlfriend knows this and we've talked about it often, even joking how she's gonna come bursting through the door with flowers n announce that she's here to take me on a date. All kidding aside she's been supportive and encouraging without being pushy bout it. I've no intention of staying in the closet. That wouldn't be fair for anybody. However I don't want to make a big production of coming out either...I'd rather not have to come out at all n just be able to say I've found a wonderful person who I'm in love with...but I know that such a world doesn't exist yet. So what's the problem? Well my family is religious, and believe homosexuality is a sin. They're not extremists like the stories I've read on here, in fact according to my younger sister (she doesn't know I'm lesbian) dad would be OK with it. His philosophy is once you're an adult its your life, your choice. It would however be disappointing to him and my mother...they'll love me no matter what, but hate what they see as a sin. They'll consider me spiritually lost and pray n hope God will bring me back. I've no idea how my siblings will react. I've nephews n nieces I adore n would be sad if I didn't get to see em anymore. Its even more complicated....I'm in a wheelchair and am Dependent on my parents n family. I've never lived apart from them and hardly do anything without a family member along. My girlfriend as I said is amazing, constantly assuring me she can handle my needs saying"I got this". I believe her as Lil things she's said n done prove she's up to the challenge. It'd still be a major monumental change in my life. And if my parents reaction means me moving out I'd really have very few options...my girlfriend has mentioned me eventually moving in with her, and its something I definitely want but I don't wanna move in because I got kicked out at home. Anyways, sorry I'm kinda rambling here, if you manage to follow along congrats. Like the title suggests, I wish somebody would just ask me if I was gay...it'd save me the trouble of an announcement and get it over with. My 14 year old brother did ask me once, much to my shock, but I wasn't ready then n dodged the question. Plus I didn't think it was really appropriate to tell my Lil brother before my parents, didn't want to be accused of influencing or something. I've dropped subtle hints (I think), using gender neutral terms, like significant other, when topics of a romantic nature arise. But I doubt they'll catch on....I've had male "crushes" in the past, and unfortunately the concept of a disabled person having any kind of sexual desire is relatively new in society. I don't really know what to do.
Maybe...except they've never met her before...I met her online. Don't think my parents would take me randomly moving in with a "stranger" well....especially 90min away. Right now, they don't even know she exists. My mother has a negative view of online friendships so I generally don't discuss em much.
