We had a seminar at college on feminist literature a year ago that I found very impressive. It helped me a lot to come to a point where I'm thinking about coming out for the first time in my life, while before I thought this was unimaginable. I was thinking about writing an email to the instructor because I feel like it could mean a lot to her, and she could also give me some further advice and help me connect with like-minded people. Would it be a bad idea or too intrusive to write down my thoughts and worries to her? I don't really know if she's gay, but she deals with LGBT issues. I think it would be a stepping stone for me, because it would mean that I'm starting to confront my fears, and it could also take me further in my self-accepting process.
If she seems supportive, swallow your gut and go for it! If you really want to tell somebody, then who else would be a better supporter? An email never hurt anybody, and despite all your fears, if you think you can trust her, chances are it will be worth it in the end!
I've written my letter, and I really feel like I can trust this person. What bothers me a bit is that it may come off like 'why the hell is she bothering me with this, I don't even know her well',as it's a very personal letter. It's just that I do assume she's a lesbian, who must have a deep understanding of the struggles I mention, and I feel like her supportive reaction or reflections over the issues I raise could help me in understanding myself and the whole coming out process. But she never actually told us she was gay, as it was not what was relevant during the course. She was just very open about feminist discussions related to sexuality, and also very sensitive to these problems, and for me, it was kind of obvious that she was speaking from the queer person's perspective, especially that I saw it later that she has written many LGBT articles.
I know I'm late, but I would definitely go for it. Coming out is terrifying, and sometimes it can be easier to come out to a supportive person that you may not know that well. If she's an advocate for LGBT people, she's not going to judge you. She probably has all sorts of resources that she can suggest for you. Good luck!
Actually, you're not late,thank you for your answer. I really feel like I need a person who can support me before coming out to the people close to me...The situation's actually getting kind of critical. I don't know what's happened, but I just can't sleep or study, and can't stop thinking about how I'm going to get out of this mental turmoil. Even though I know that my best friend would also be a very supportive person, I just can't bring myself to tell anyone close to me that I'm gay until I'm not comfortable with myself. I feel like I need to be the person who's calm and can explain, not the one who breaks down. Since my emotions have surfaced, I've been very anxious...and for some reason, I just keep putting off sending the email, even though I know I should talk to her, as I don't know any other LGBT supporters personally, and I've started to feel very alone and alienated for a few days now. Oh, and I kind of discovered she's gay since then, so she could definitely help me. I really need to pull myself together, and just do it, I'm such a coward :/...
I can recall coming out to my dear spiritual mentor of many years, and despite him being a very 'alternative type' when it comes to spiritual practice, meditation etc, I was still a bit nervous. But when I actually told him, I can recall being about as direct and truthful as I've been with anyone: I wanted him to get the full picture regarding my new perspective, because I wanted to know how he truly felt. I said, "I don't think there is anything at all wrong with same-sex attraction, in fact I think it is part of the rich and diverse spectrum of human sexuality". The first part of his response was to completely agree with this, and when I felt all this acceptance flow from him, I could not help shedding a few tears, it was such a positive emotional experience for me. But if he had been a more conservative type, I think I would have waited longer. Because telling an instructor or mentor, and then getting rejected, depending on how much you had come to respect them, would hurt a bit, I'd think.
If she's gay, she's definitely not going to reject you. Saying the words is hard; trust me, the first time I even hinted at it (my exact words were "I put the Q in LGBTQ") I got super nervous and couldn't catch my breath. This was someone I knew wouldn't care, too. It's perfectly natural to be nervous. The best thing I can say is just send the email, then go treat yourself to a movie and some ice cream and wait for them to get back to you. It will be okay. Good luck!
