It seems weird to me to even say I'm "in the closet" because I'm just me you know? I'm having a hard time working through my gender/sexuality though. The thing is, like most people, my family is very judgmental. My mom claims she accepts everyone and everything but she only says that to cover up her vast disapproval and judgment of others. My family is very fundamental Christian and judges my wife and I for any little thing, like watching rated R movies and being lazy, let alone an alternative gender. It makes me want to just throw it out there that I am Trans or Gay or Bi or whatever. They are so sheltered and judgmental, but they do respect me, so it is tempting to throw a baseball through their pristine window and just watch how they deal with it. But there's no taking it back, and I'm not even sure what I am so I don't know if I want to do anything drastic. But how long should I wait? What if I'm never sure? Though I've only been exploring for about 6 months. I feel vulnerable and embarrassed. :icon_sad::icon_redf
I think this is a feeling that all of us has or are experiencing throughout our lives, so,please don't feel you are alone at all. I think you should just take as much time as you need to and don't feel pressured to come out before you are ready. It says you are still questioning on your profile, so perhaps it might be an idea to at least wait till you know for sure who you are. I am sorry your family is judgmental about everything you do, it would make it even harder to come out. Just know you have friends here and we are all here for you ~hugs~
Curtis16, Please don't be embarrased its ok and you will be able to come out when you are ready! No reason to rush things you have the rest of your life ahead of you so relax take a deep breath and you will know when you are ready.
Hi. For me, I would want to understand whether I was "trans or gay or bi..." or whatever it is that you are, first, though this could be a fluid thing. After coming to accept yourself, it may be easier to tell people, even those as judgmental as your family. It's important to also think about what you want out of your experience and what you may want to change in your life, if anything. Being vulnerable in some sense can be good, though it's exposing and uncomfortable. (I'm also extremely confused and I feel judged.) Do what's best for you and your family will just have to deal with it.
Yeah, I'm sure I'll take some time and figure it out. Though I dislike labels in general so it's kind of hard to pick a label ya know? Not that they're always bad, but if we identify with a label it can become restrictive of free change. My point in just wanting to say something to my family is to kinda get it over with, or to get them to give up on me. I'd rather they just think I'm for sure going to hell or whatever than continue to try to change me by judging me. Make sense? I probably won't, it's just a temptation.
Although "questioning" doesn't fit as neatly as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered (or numerous variables in between) it does serve the purpose of giving us a term to latch onto while we are still working things out. It acknowledges that we are not something, but doesn't go as far as defining exactly who we are. It's a kind of middle ground term, and if you so wish, you can come out on that basis. I met a guy a couple of years back who did exactly that and remained "questioning" for a number of years afterwards. He was able to come out and experience the freedom of being out, whilst still deciding who he actually was. He told me that coming out helped him finally decide that he was/is bisexual, with a preference for men... coming out as "questioning" gave him the freedom to explore, experiment and understand.
The right time to do anything is only when you are ready. It took me years to figure out and admit to myself that I am gay :bang: I had to be comfortable and certain in myself before I decided to tell anyone and when I came out to that first person I began to feel better about myself. Take your time, the only schedule you have to work to is your own.
