What made you come out, if you have?

I didn't tell anyone until this year, and I'm 21. I am out to everyone now, it took a few months from closet to openly out

As to what made me come out (to everyone), is that now I'm able to move forward in my life. If I meet someone, I won't have to hide it. I don't need to worry about more people finding out; it's no longer a secret.

 

1. 14
2. well fight around 2 months (but i think i have known since i was 12)
3. not as much a fight as a struggle to understand my feelings

 

I'm 28 and just came out here recently. I've known since I was very young. When I was younger I was ashamed of who I was, even though there was no reason I should have been. My family is awesome and understanding.

Main reason I waited so long:
1.) Bad experience First year of collage. Was a football player, was not out when my boyfriend and I were seen at the theater by a teammate. They made my life a living hell that year, lost my boyfriend over the whole thing (was also an athlete) he left school mid year.
2.) Met the right girl and was married for 5 years, didn't seem like a need to share at that time.
3.) We come back to this year and I've finally decided I don't care who knows I just want to be happy. Its still a struggle. Have only told My parents, 1 of 3 siblings and his wife. Also told a close friend that I have a huge crush on.

 

1. 14
2. I've fought with the struggle of knowing my wish since I was 11, but have always been "masculine" to some extent
3. I was afraid and hated myself for it. I didn't want to be not taken seriously, because I was so young, but also I didn't want it to be true.

 

I guess I just couldn't take hiding anymore. I kept crying about it all the time... I wanted people to know. It's no fun for me to keep secrets.

 

I definitely denied it for at least a year, to myself and to everyone else. I think the first person I told was when I was still in that "Oh shit I might be gay" stage that I think most kids go through when they're questioning. I told her because I knew she had gone through some of the same stuff as I was, so I figured she would be able to give me some help.

After that, I would say the only thing that "made" me come out would have been some homophobia from one of my close friends, which centered around the BSA voting down the policy on gay Scouts. He was spouting crap and I told him, "If you've got such a problem with gay people, I shouldn't be sitting here." Since then, it's gotten a lot easier to come out to people and I'm just telling people if they ask or putting it into a conversation.

 

I came out at about 21. I had known I wasn't straight since I was very young but thought I was probably bi and could just be with women until probably around 19/20. I came out because I felt like it was time to start living my life and I wasn't willing to do it dishonestly. I had the sit down thing with my parents and then pretty much just lived my life openly and let the rest of the chips fall where they would. I definitely would have come out earlier if I could, but it was over twenty years ago. It was a different time--I don't think I really even realized gay was an option, a thing you could be, until it finally hit me that that was who I was...

 

First question - 26, just under a month ago.
Second question - Too long.
Third question - I grew up in a heavily right-wing/religious family. I wanted to live a "normal life" (did not help my situation that my grandparents raised me, and not my parents...I feel this would have come about much sooner had that been the case). I thought if I punished myself (and I did, physically, do not recommend) that I could "fix" what was wrong with me. Once that didn't work, I figured my destiny was just to live the life of a eunic and quietly die a lonely death, and I had accepted that for far too long. I really started doing biblical research, and I do firmly believe that it is possible to be both Christian and Gay. The message of the new testament is essentially to love one another, and I think Gay Christians are meant to teach tolerance, because they understand what it is like to not be tolerated.

 

I never denied to myself that I was queer; honestly, for those three years I was questioning, I didn't really have a chance to deny it to myself, and the year I was sure of myself but still in the closet, I didn't deny it to myself. However, even when people asked me if I was a lesbian, even my closest friends, I would lie and tell them I was straight. I fought it because I was scared of what the people I cared about would think and because even if lying hurt, I still knew the outcome of my lies and that made me feel safe. In the end, I came out around my fifteenth birthday because the lying was too much, and because the people that truly cared about me would stick up for me, and they did. I felt like if I didn't, I would never be truly happy.

Well, that, and the fact you can also only read so much sappy girl/girl manga to cope before you start to lose it a little.

 

I knew when I was 14 but didnt come out until just after my 25th birthday. I accepted myself at 14 but chose not to come out because I feared rejection from my older conservative parents. I came out at 25 because I ended up going into a deep dark depression and while in the psych unit I had time to think and decided in order for me to be happier I needed to be more open and honest with people, which included coming out.

 

I was in my mid twenties when I came out.

I fought it for at least 10 years ...

The reason I took so long to accept it is because I wanted to belong. I wanted to fit in, and I lived in a very conservative place. It was dangerous to come out, and I had been through so much pain already that I tried to be someone I was not.

Hiding nearly destroyed me. It nearly destroyed all my hopes and dreams, and it harmed my physical and mental well-being. I reached a point where I had to come out or lose all hope of ever being happy.

 

I'm pretty newly out, but I've known that something was up since I was about fourteen and I first had a crush on my best friend. That made me nervous, so I pushed it down and didn't think about it; I focused on making myself think that I was straight and jumping in a relationship with a guy.

I headed off to college this year and realized that I couldn't put myself through that anymore; I was going to be bisexual (maybe lesbian, I'm not sure yet) no matter what. Why hate myself for it?

I can relate to hiding-my best friends are gay, and I couldn't even bring myself to tell them for the longest time. But when I did, it was a relief. They loved me just as much as they ever had.

It's still nerve wracking; I'm nineteen, and that feels pretty late when there are people who have been out to everyone since they were like 13. But I'm on my way there, and that's what matters!

 

I came out at 17 when I realized I was more sexually attracted to guys
A while subconsciously I knew I was different but didn't want to consider that I wasn't straight.
I suppose I felt self conscious but now I like it. Guys are cool

 

1. 14
2. 3 years
3. I use to worry about what people would think but now whatever.

 

I am almost 33. I came out when I was 22. When I was 21 my grandmother died, and I felt really bad that 1) she died without knowing the true me, and 2) life really isn't that long. There are no guarantees in life, you can be out, and still be single and miserable. But, life is too short to keep hiding and lying to everyone.

I came out to my parents, then friends afterwards.

I have known since I was young. I was raised in a religious family, and I have always had doubts as to god. But my sexuality was still something that I hid, I felt ashamed of, I was shy about. I remember praying that god would make me straight, and was so upset when it never happened.

I am no longer upset, nor am I a believer . I am glad that I was born gay, I can't imagine life without it. It's a big part of who I am and I love it. I have great friends, great family, and I have been completely open since I was 22.

 

1.) I came out when I was 7 years old. I wrote a letter to my teacher telling her how much I liked her and wished she was my girlfriend even though I had no clue what a real girlfriend was. Every year after that I fell "in love" with one of my female teachers. I don't openly discuss my sexuality on a daily basis so if you know it's because we're really close (family or friends) or I once had a crush on you and I told you. Now whoever reads this post will know too but I'm okay with that. It's not a secret, just a part of me that I share when I feel like it.

2.) There was a period during my teenage years when I fought to be straight. It was the worst. I didn't deny being lesbian I just thought I could be "normal" if I tried hard enough. That didn't work.

3.) I wanted to know if being a lesbian was really a choice as so many know-it-all individuals have stated. For me, it's not a choice.

 

to think that if a person feel (not think) that he is not comfortable being straight that that person gotta follow his or her heart

 

Just the feeling that I wasnt being true to myself, I was bottling up feelings because I thought it was convenient. But I just felt trapped and exhausted. I suspected if I got real with myself and just evaluated my feelings instead of trying to push them away, I'd feel more happy and free. And I was right

I was 20 when I came out (only a couple of months ago)- to myself and a month later to my parents (and then some friends etc).
I denied it for pretty much my entire life. Or at least from the age I started experiencing attraction to people (which was like 9/10 years old)
I denied it because I was scared of how people would react and scared for myself, that my life would be harder.

 

Have you ever even denied you were gay to yourself and your best friend? Even though you knew people would understand? Absolutely

How old were you when you came out and admitted it? 44 yrs old (last week)

How long did you fight it? (Since I was 13)

Why did you fight it? (Fear, ignorance of others)