Hey, It's been a while since I posted here but things have been stupidly hectic recently and yet again I need a little help. I have been back at school for a while now and it's really not going to well. I have so much work which I am completing and getting good grades in at the moment, but it is taking so much time and effort. My days at the moment involve all day at school, getting home usually very late in the evenings due to commitments, eating briefly then getting down to three or four solid hours of work - and there is so much more work I could be doing as well as this, I just don't have the time or energy to do it. In school most of my friends left last year and there are very few people I really get on with. I mean I don't really mind the place, accademically it is brilliant, but for most other things it is awful. I am getting through there, but I am just unhappy. I feel totally out of place and stressed. It is as if I'm just waiting for the only thing I am just about coping with - the work - to get too hard and for yet more things to start going wrong. I know I only have to spend two years there but that seems like a very long time to carry on feeling miserable and stressed out. But on the other hand I don't think that there is anywhere else I could go. I know there are a lot of people who care about me where I am I just can't bring myself to tell them what's going on, so I have to rely upon one person. Then today it just got particually too much so I decided to go and see that person, and I caught them at a bad time... I know they probably didn't mean to snap and were really busy but they did and anyway, it just left me feeling even worse and guilty about being so difficult. I just have so many emotions that I can't express because I have no idea what half of them are. They just seem to be building up and I don't know what they are, how I'm really feeling, how to get rid of them... I just feel scared, trapped, alone and very confused. I don't know what to do. It is so obvious I am unhappy and quite a few people have shown concern but I just feel like I am being pathetic and just need to pull myself together so I haven't told anyone. My friends have also asked but I don't know how they would react if I told them and if I lost any of them I don't know what I would do. I don't even understand why I can't just be happy in the closet, or just stop being so pathetic and just come out. What do I do?
Talk to someone. There is absolutely NOTHING to lose from talking to someone. Remember you are in control of the conversation; YOU decide what you tell them and what you want them to know. Share the load, gain a new perspective and perhaps things will change.
Ok, this may seem kind of random, but I see you like hockey. Try to go out and just hit a ball around for a little while, get your mind off things. I used to play, and I know I miss having that stress reliever. You may not have that much time, but everyone is overwhelmed with school right now. It takes a while to get back into the swing of things. School may be hard right now, but just look forward to your next break, whenever that may be. Set goals for yourself . ("If I can make it til ___ I'll be okay.") And then push to reach that goal. And once you get there, set a new goal. As far as talking to your friends, I'm in exactly the same position. But if your friends are asking what is wrong, tell them. You don't have to tell them EVERYTHING, but say you're overwhelmed with school or that you don't know how to say what's wrong but you will when you figure it all out for yourself. If they are showing concern, it's because your friends care for you. We have friends for a reason Try to feel out how they might react, and go from there. I hope everything starts to get better for you. I'm here if you need to talk to someone!
