I promise I don't mean this to be controversial or offensive in any way. Just personally, as I've been considering how to navigate letting others know about the changes I'm going through, I realized I don't know how I feel about "coming out." I feel like setting it up as a specific event or revelation sort of asks for shock and judgment. The alternative would be to just BE MYSELF! So never explicitly bring it up to people but cease hiding anything. So if I felt like cross dressing or something then I'd just do it and if people saw me or saw pictures of me then they can infer or judge or ask me or whatever, but it's on them because I'm just being me. Does this make sense? [disclaimer: I'm new to all this and have only recently "come out" to myself. Please don't bite my head off for being a noob]
No, it is informing others since the majority of people assume others are straight. I came out because I wanted to be honest to others. That said, you don't need to come out to everyone. So far, I've just done it to close, trustworthy friends and my mom. It's tough, but I knew I needed to do it if I want to be in a relationship. I guess that was my real motivation. Having read so many stories on here, I saw that being in the closet can not work long term if you want a full, loving relationship without getting super paranoid.
Interesting! I haven't thought of that aspect of it, I mean in Relation to specific relationships. I can see how that would be important for the health of the relationship. Up till now I've mostly been thinking of coming out as a more all or nothing thing.
Yes, it's more of a need to know basis at this point. Of course, some people can't keep secrets, but then you just have to roll with it as fewer people you need to tell. Trust me, it feels exhilarating like you've been holding your breath for far too long.
A lot of people feel such a rush after coming out to a few people, that they want to be even more open. But just remember, you decide who to tell, when to tell, and why to tell. You can tell 5 friends and be happy with that for now, or you can tell everyone. There is no right answer
i like being judged it makes me happy even if people are judging me in a bad way i just laugh also no coming out doesn't ask for judgement i'm being judged either way i'm telling people who is this guy and who the hell he is going to love also i just hate to be assumed sexless because i don't look at flirt or date any girl doesnt mean i don't have other desires and also lets just say i'm telling them that they won't have to worry about me making anyone pregnant ^__^ speaking of coming out last week i had a talk with my younger sister 12 years old and she knew i was gay all along because she told me that no straight guy would go with his sister to stare at guys in the mall ! i don't come out to people they just ask me and i say YES !
Even if you wanted to hide being gay or it wasn't even an issue anymore... coming out as trans is such an overt thing that can't be hidden and you are constantly judged.
