So I'm a nineteen year old, bisexual (very lesbian-leaning) woman. This is a revelation I came to this year, after about five years of self-denial and a hell of a lot of guilt and shame. Recently, I've started the process of coming out. I told an old high school teacher, a mentor of mine, and a few good friends (most of whom are on the spectrum). It's gone well so far, but I'm still terrified of telling some of my straight friends. I know that if they have a problem with my sexuality I'm better off not having them in my life, but I care about them and they've got me through a lot. I don't want to lose them. Does anyone have any advice? Particularly people who have come out as lesbian or bisexual, it would really help.
Maybe try starting with the friends who you know will be accepting. If they do not accept you, I would try telling them that nothing about you has actually changed, that you are the same person you were. Now, I do not know the entire situation, and I'm only 14, but this did work when I came out to the few people I am out to.
Don't start with the friends you have made recently, as it may not work out as well, but in my personal experience, long-time friends *even the religious ones* are genuinely accepting because they treasure you as a person. Good luck
I came out myself a couple months ago, and while two of my friends religiously disagree with homosexuality, they accepted me easily, even if it did come as a surprise to them. I understand your fear of losing them; one of those two took it as a shock and left soon after looking a bit stricken. That night, though, he apologized profusely to me over text and then the next day at school for his inappropriate response because he cared about me and thought I deserved respect. We've been fine ever since, and I can bring it up without making him upset, although he is still slowly warming up to the idea of same-sex couples, albeit very slowly. The people that really care about you will come around. If any of them have shown genuine disgust toward same-sex attraction, though, perhaps omission is a better idea with them... My advice, if you do decide to come out, is to be calm about it. I know it's very hard to not get emotional when you're scared, but do your best - it will most likely go much better than you expect. Be prepared to give them some space, too, and if you do decide to just tell them, consider whether or not you'll need some time to collect yourself a little. Either way, I hope I could be of some help to you. Best of luck if you do choose to come out! (*hug*)
