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I need some advice pronto

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BitterEdge, Oct 4, 2008.

  1. BitterEdge

    BitterEdge Guest

    So some of you might remember I started talking to a guy at my school online and we kinda hit it off. But because of me studying abroad we weren't gonna officially go on a date till I got back. We exchanged many emails, but last week he didnt answer any of mine and finally asked the question: Are you too busy to date? He responded I think my schedule is too hectic, you're in another country, I think it would be best if we remained friends. This made me very upset since I liked him very much. Should I continue persuing him or should I give up?

    Also I am still not out, except to two people and have yet to really date a guy. I'm feeling very lonely and depressed. Any help with what I can do?

    :help:
     
  2. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    It sounds like you need to back-off. You don't want to push him completely away and ruin your chances for actually going out with him when you get back. So be his friend for now and see how things go when you are back at your own school.
     
  3. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! Try to take it slow. Make it clear to him that you want and are his friend, but try to develop a deeper relationship once you are back. As Becky mentioned, if you are pushing it too hard, you might just ruin the relationship that you already have. Why would you want to do that when you like him? Keep e-mailing/chatting with him online and try to meet up with him when you are back. Try not to think about dating at this point, just try to develop the friendship that you have further by continuing to talk with him.

    If you feel lonely and depressed, try to get to know some people at the school that you are currently studying at. I don't know if you have the opportunity, but if you do, try joining a club or an activity. You will not feel as lonely and it will help you also with your overall feelings about yourself.

    Hope this helps!
     
  4. Mikeyy

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    I'd back off, if I were you.

    Just a warning, of sorts:

    I was friends with a guy, who was bi, and who knew I was gay, and we weren't talking about getting together or anything, but I often finish my texts/emails/comments with "xx". He then asked me to stop and that made things awkward between us.

    So if you're gonna stay friends, don't finish anything with "love" or "xx" or "♥" cos he might take it the wrong way.
     
  5. krazykyle

    krazykyle Guest

    i would back off and keep contact a friends ;-)
     
  6. BitterEdge

    BitterEdge Guest

    Thanks, I am thinking he is ignoring me at this point anyway. I'm just going to stop talking to him for awhile. I want to be friends, but something makes me think he is actually thinking otherwise. There are a few other guys I've been talking to online who are looking more for the same things that I am, so I might start there.
     
  7. Gumtree

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    To put it bluntly, some people have different expectations from a relationship and what they involve. Some people just can't do long distance, other's are fine with it. Pressure will just make him rebel, keep your distance and if you think it's worth it; wait.
     
  8. No One

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    i think you should keep persuing him cause you never know if when you get back he could be there waiting. and it depends on how you feel do you want people to know and are you ready if you said yes to both of those then mabey you are ready to come out