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Mom found out !!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Fimo, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. Fimo

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    So today after lunch I talked about a video i saw on youtube with my mom and sister. That's when my mom told me that she saw some researches I did on youtube. Long story short, my sister broke her phone last week so she took my ancient one, on which I spent looong times on the "gay part" of youtube. And as I thought nobody would ever use that phone ever again, I didn't bother to erase the search history. But I fucked up, because they discovered everything. Including the texts I exchanged with my best friend and where we talked mainly about lgbt stuff ...
    And now I think she finally understood that I am not straight ... she didn't seem to take it bad.
    But I'm still so scared.
    I'm not used to talk about personal things with my parents, and I'm afraid that she'll tell my dad, because he is quite homophobic and he'll never understand ! I was planning to tell them when I was ready, and eventually when I'll get a girlfriend. I didn't feel the need to tell them right now, I didn't want to rush. And I would have had the time to prepare my words, my reaction, and to get my emotions together ...
    But my mom completely took me by surprise. She said that on a jokingly way, but I didn't want to laugh. It was like the ground fell down. I had no idea what to say ... I just looked down, as my stomach twisted !
    I know it's not a bad thing that she finally knows, but I didn't want her to know that way. I would have preferred to come out by myself, when I decided to ! And I feel bad about that !

    (forgive my grammar, i'm french :wink: )
     
  2. shinji

    shinji Guest

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    Seems like your mom is cool with it. Just tell her your concerns regarding your father.If she tries to push for a conversation, simply tell her you aren't ready to talk about it, she would probably understand this and leave it.

    What happened, is not necessarily a bad thing, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. Obviously for a few days it will be somewhat awkward, but that will change soon, and you'll start feeling quite better/light/free.
     
  3. bulbul

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    It seems to me this was a blessing in disguise, since your mother found out and she didn't take it bad, just give your self and your mother time to process it all. If u want my advice on how make things go faster, I suggest u sit down with your mother and talk with her. Ask her how she feels and tell her how u feel, don't stop till everything is clear to both of u.
     
  4. happydavid

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    I'm sure everything will be alright
     
  5. Fimo

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    I want to talk to her about this, but the only problem is that I can never find the courage to engage that kind of conversations ... it's like i'm blocking, I just can't ask her to sit down and say what I want to say ... even now that she knows ! It's too hard !
    And I knew that before, that's one of the reasons I didn't come out either, because deep down I knew that it will be ok, and that they wouldn't take it so bad, but I needed to wait for the moment I wouldn't block anymore !
    But now, it really feels like i'm FORCED to do that, because if I don't, there will still be this ambiguity remaining !
    And thank you so much for cheering me up btw :slight_smile: