Now I'm going to come out to my parents sometime tonight... so what should I expect? Yeah I also need some advice on how I'm gonna approach it. I'm pretty sure my mom is not gonna mind. But... then there's my dad who is pretty homophobic. Now is this unusual... I've thought I was straight the whole time and for a long time. I never heard of someone well into their 20's just discovering this. Now let me explain to you how Face Smasher and I became partners. Pretty much, I have come out to you all now as you read this. Now here's what happened. Ok, so as I said in Face Smasher's latest thread... I'm his partner. First of all, it's a pretty long story on how we became partners so I'm gonna try to make it not that long. I met him at another forum. Don't wanna bother mentioning it, but I think he might of mentioned it here once or so. First of all, according to him... I never really liked him. I considered him my best friend over a year ago. I had feelings for him and there were hints of me getting into a relationship. That's when I found out that I was gay. Now before that, I only had a couple crushes on two guys when I was in junior high school. So anyway, it wasn't until March 23, 2008 when I PMed him over at another forum (not the one we met on, but a better one) and I wrote in that PM that we should get into a relationship. At first I was really skeptical that it would work and well it's been the most successful relationship I've ever been in my life. I had other girlfriends (mostly online ones) and only 2 girlfriends I had in person. This is quite amazing really. My partner is the only guy I am totally attracted to. So I dunno I consider myself gay... yet I'm STILL mostly attracted towards the opposite sex. Guys really don't attract me at all. However I know what my partner looks like from pics I've seen of him and I totally dig him. I love him more than anything in the world. So hmm... yeah I must be one in a few guys like this. I know I can't be bi, cos then I would into guys as much as I'm into girls. So I'll just consider myself gay... since I lost interest in girls. But yet I'm still attracted to 'em and I really can't help that. So yeah there you have it. I pretty much joined this forum while I thought I was straight and well my best friend who would become my partner told me to join. See I was never homophobic at all (many years ago before I learned about homophobia I was) and so I joined. It feels great being gay and now being here means a lot more now that I am gay.
hi Mick, wow what a story! two things 1) about coming out to family and friends. A few weeks ago I came out to one of my sisters, we had coffee in the city. She was cool with me being gay / bi. she listened carefully, like a wise woman does. not surprised or anything but accepting. I told others the same week, it was a coming out week, any way all of them were accepting. But then i am older, and married too! I won't be telling my mum and dad as they're both 81 ! so not to bother them too much. 2) about your attraction to girls and to boys. Being Bi doesn't mean 50 - 50 ! It means a whole range could be 20 - 80 ... or 40 - 60 ... so i'd say i'm more Homo than Hetro . i was in a Hetro moment (for several years) when I got married, but now i understand that i'm more gay! When i was your age in my 20s and 30s, i had a boy friend, another year i had a girlfriend. But the boy friend was known as my 'flat mate' (aussie for room buddy i guess) . so , good luck with the coming out, let's know what happens! Paul
I agree with Paul, you may very well be bisexual. Here's what I recommend. DO NOT come out until you're certain that you're gay/bi/whatever. You don't want to come out as gay and end up in a heterosexual relationship down the line. You never know what can happen with these things. You're probably only attracted to your partner because that's the way it works when you're in love. You lose interest in others. I'd take the time to figure out for certain what exactly to define what your sexuality is (and don't worry about what the label is), and THEN come out when you're ready. I would not advise you to come out just yet, because you're clearly not sure yet as to what your orientation is. You can't tell others what it is before you're sure yourself. Best of luck.
Hmm I think you are bisexual - On a scale you would have straight and gay at either end with bicurious doing its own little thing, with bisexual taking up most of the scale. Maybe you are say 90% straight 10% gay, and your partner is part of that 10%?
Ok... I came out. I only came out to my mom and didn't go very well... she doesn't believe me at all. She called me an asshole and thought I was stupid. And she wants me to stop talking to my partner. I will never ever stop talking to him, I love him with all my heart. Why does she think I'm joking? I was expecting her to say "great news" or something. But all I got was that I'm an asshole and she thinks I'm messing around. What should I do? I must explain to her that my partner is the true love of my life.
If I were you I would just cut her out of my life. I know it's sad, but you are 24 - old enough to do so.
I wouldn't worry about what your mom said. I'm sure it's quite difficult for her to accept this news - especially if you've never actually met your 'partner'. Is there any chance that you will meet him some day? If not, why not trying to meet people that are closer to home and see how that goes?
Listen to TheDude. I heard that ... woman screaming at you on the phone. It's like what the fuck? She's trying to control your life. That queen bitch dominatrix, I swear, sounded like Shirley Phelps, seriously! She thinks I recruited him and that I'm an Internet predator! She's batshit insane I tell you! fffuuuuuck!!! I knew I should have persuaded him NOT to come out! That evil creature is trying to ruin his life and it's fueling my anger. Get out of there if you can. I hope it's, you know, ILLEGAL for a mother to forcibly detain their ADULT son in her house.
Oh and if she hurts him, that bitch is gonna pay. I will personally GO OVER THERE and GIVE HER A LARYNGECTOMY with my BARE HANDS! Oh I am livid. I am ENRAGED!
Oh now they asked for it. They're threatening to send him to a group home! And he can't move out because he has no job. God dammit WHY?!? WHY?!?!? God damn I hate life. It's a cruel joke. Fuck it, I might as well go crawl in a hole. I fucked his life up.
You might want to take a pill... I'm sure your friend can take care of himself without you doing serious harm to his mother. She can't be all that bad - or he wouldn't have expected his 'coming out' to be OK with her. He's older than you are, and knows his own mother better than you do.
Yeah, I'm really in tough situation with my parents right now. Mostly my mom... she still thinks that I want a girlfriend. NO, I do not and I never will. As for meeting someone, no I won't do that... I'm not going to do that at all. I really don't know what to do. I'm trying to explain to her and nothing is working! She tells me to drop it and she doesn't want to hear anything more about it. So what should do I? I have no idea what to do.
I mean I'm not going to meet someone else and then get into a relationship with that person. It's not going to work out. It seems that my mom is forcing me to break up with him. I do not want that to happen at all and I really need to find a way for this to actually work out. Oh yeah, I never mentioned this. I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and she's been getting on my case on that. She's gonna gonna get me help and send me to a support group. Yeah, I don't have a really good social life. And my mom says that since I have Asperger's and well I'm lonely... she thinks I'm so messed up that I'd reach out to anyone to get into a relationship. No, that is not the case at all! She doesn't believe that I'm gay. Yeah I tried to explain to her more... she just won't listen. She doesn't want me to talk to Face Smasher anymore. I will not let that happen.
just got off the phone with him. They said they'd be willing to hear his side of the story in a week. This leads me to believe they're planning something. Like an incarceration in a mental hospital. They won't listen to him just because he was diagnosed with Aspbergers.
oh,geez, I hate stories like this. I don't know what to say. Do you have a friend or relative you could stay with? (depending on the outcome of this) I think you should just keep away from your folks, as much as possible,at least for a few days.I just wish you the best of luck. I'm not sure,but can you work or get disability so you can become independent of them? You are 24 and they can't try to control you,if you're not there.No matter what,you're of legal age . I don't think there's much they can do,other than ask you to leave. Please...try to find resources to help yourself. And don't let your b/f do anything. It will surely make it worse. Good luck and take care. (btw,love your name!)lol!
Update: Looks like everything is going OK... well for now anyway. I came out to this psychologist I've been seeing for my Asperger's. I came out to her the day after I came out to mom. So today, she called my mom to talk about it. So... yeah, now my mom understands. She said she would talk to me about this tonight... but it hasn't happened. So it should happen tomorrow (Oct. 9). So yeah I'll fill you in on what's going to happen.
