I came out to myself as well as to my therapist(as a lesbian) last Thursday. My anxiety levels have been sky high, I don't feel like leaving my house, and I don't like where my negative thoughts are taking me. My male pastor and one other male friend knows but that is it so far. I feel a bit scared and want the anxiety to go away.
Lynn44, Firstly, congrats on taking a big step. Now, it is going to take some time for the truth to settle in. You can join a support group to help with the thoughts or spend time with friends who accept you as you are. Don't stay alone, and find ways to distract yourself. When I first came out, I thought my head would explode with so many thoughts rushing in. I talked to my friends which helped a great deal. It took me a while but the negative thoughts slowly faded away and I feel comfortable being me. Again, you've been very brave coming out. Please feel free to talk to us at this forum. We're all here for you (&&&)
Thank you so much for your great advice and support ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2014 at 11:55 AM ---------- Hello again - I tried to send you a private message but it would not go through.
As a regular member Lynn, you can only post messages on another members wall. You can ask for an upgrade to full member status once you have been a member for a few weeks and have posted more and this will enable you to send private messages, if you wish. I agree with Rainbowdesi about giving yourself time and space. You have taken a big step (a positive step) but all pieces of the jigsaw don't fall into place at once. If you look on the resources pages of this forum you will find more information about the process and stages of coming out and it may help you to understand some of your present feelings. Keep coming back here and sharing the journey with us. If we're not on the journey ourselves, we've most likely been there.
Hi Lynn, my empathy to you, I know what it's like to live with anxiety and persistent, troubling thoughts and worries. One trick is, to connect with your breath. Our breath is intimately linked to all other systems of our body and mind. If you can change your breath, you can change other aspects of the body / mind, as well. I find it's good to just 'tune in' at first, to not change anything, but just to feel and notice how you are breathing right now. Are your breaths shallow or deep? Fast, or slow? Or are you 'holding' your breath a fair bit? First I investigate what is already happening, without attempting to 'fix' it. It's good for awareness to come first. Then, gently, allow your breath to deepen, to become more slow and regular...to relax into this. Sometimes we 'hold' on to our breath, to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings, but I believe that this tends to actually increase the obsessive 'thinking, thinking' going on in our heads...so I recommend getting yourself somewhere peaceful, tuning in, and then in a relaxed way, allowing the breath to slow and deepen...I find this a good way to 'get back into my body' and out of overthinking, and combined with drinking some (purified, chemical-free) water, can help to shift distressing emotions. 'Let them be, and let them go'. And if a few tears fall along the way, well just let them fall, too. And hold yourself in kindness as they do. (*hug*)
Hey Lynn! I agree with the others, take it easy, give yourself some time and space. And congratulations on this huge step! Hugs
Congrats on coming out to yourself! It is such a huge and difficult step and you should be so proud! (*hug*) I definantly agree with what most other people have said. Support from other people helps a lot. Talking with a therapist about EVERYTHING you think and feel and sparing no little detail is also a great resource. Be wary of your negative thoughts and do not let them get out of control. It helps when someone is aware when you are thinking negatively and can check up on you to make sure you are okay. Plus so many of us at empty closets are here for you and are proud of you and want you to be happy. Good luck with what your future brings <3
Thank you for the wonderful support. My anxiety is back again and I spent most of yesterday crying off and on and put in an emergency call to my therapist(am hoping to hear back from her). Sitting with this anxiety is very hard; I have tried walking, deep breathing, journaling, contacting an LGBT hotline to talk, etc... I feel like I am jumping out of my skin. Thanks again.
