I really want to come out to everyone as bigender, But my parents are stopping me from doing so. I'm going to go tell you the whole story. I came out to my parents as bigender last month and I got the amazing "We will always love you no matter what" reaction. Ever since then, I honestly was expecting my parents to get me some female clothes some time. But they did literally nothing other than give me a little bit of talk after I came out to them. They were practically acting like it didn't happen and it was irritating me. I decided to do something to get their attention. I went to a friend's house and she let me try on some of her clothes. While I was there, I texted my mom saying "Omg!! I'm trying on some clothes!". Then my mom replies with "What clothes" and then I replied with "female clothes. You knew what I meant when I said I was bigendered, right?" then my mom said "Yes, but I just can't deal with it now. We'll talk about this later". I'm going to admit that when I first saw this, I honestly thought that she meant she wasn't okay with me being bigendered and she actually didn't understand what it meant the first time I explained it to her, so I replied "But you should be able to deal with it. You're my mother ". She didn't reply to that. But when my mom picked me up, she gave me a talk and said that she's very worried that I'm going to get hurt by someone, and when I got home my dad joined in on the conversation saying pretty much the same stuff my mom did. Then my mom said, "I know it seems like we're not supporting you, but we really are", I disagree with this however. The only time they ever supported me was when I first came out to them, and then they practically were acting like it never happened except for the time I brought it to their attention by trying girl clothes on. But ever since I brought it to their attention by doing that and they gave me that talk, they've literally been doing nothing. It really pisses me off to be honest. I feel like not coming out to everyone is going to start slowly eating me up. ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2014 at 03:44 PM ---------- Also, I would like to say that I'm sure I wouldn't get hurt for being bigendered in the place I live. The worst that could happen is that people could talk crap about me.
Your parents seem to be trying their best to find a balance in this society. They accept you and understand but they don't want you to get hurt. They know that people can be harsh and you can be bullied, harassed or worse. My parents were the same way when I came out to them. After I told them I didnt identify with my gender they were accepting but nothing happened. But I think that they just dont know what to do. Parents want to protect us from the harshness of our environment but you are eventually going to have to show who you truly are in order to feel comfortable and at peace. Tell your parents that you want to buy female clothes. Tell them that you are fine with the 'consequences' of coming out in the place you live. Tell them before it starts to eat you up. Tell them how you truly feel and why you need to change your clothes or whatever and why it is so important to you. These are all recommendations of course but I am speaking from experience when I say I have seen too many LGBT people hurt from not being themselves. Keep communicating with your parents and it is important to trust them a lot. They cant help you or do anything for you if you dont tell them what you need. And make sure you are confident in your identity before you come out because having people criticize or doubt you about it can just put you back in the closet. Best of luck to you <3
Seems like your parents are having a tough time wrapping their head around the concept. It is going to take them to understand what it really means and how it will affect your life. Meanwhile, they are just going to try to protect you, it's a natural instinct for parent. Give them some time to accept it. One month is too short of a time to understand everything. And if they say it is unsafe, they might have a point. Yes, CA is kind of a safe environment but world is made up of all kinds of people. Even words can get to you if you hear them long enough.So, please bear with them for a little longer. Let them get used to the idea. I understand the urge to make an announcement to the world. How about telling the people who matter to you first and slowly tell the world.. everything doesn't have to happen overnight. Meanwhile, if you want your parents to do something -- Ask them, they still don't know what it all means. Hint and hope is really not going to work. Explain what you need from them. Wish you all the best
