So yeah being in the closet is really starting to weigh on me. I feel like I can't be normal with my friends because they always talk about boys and cute guys they see and I just pretend to agree with them. They know I'm gay (some of them) but they pretend they don't know. My best friend always talks about how one day I'll get a boyfriend and "oh he's cute you should date him." It makes me sad because she knows that'll never happen and I try to explain but she doesn't take me seriously. I just want to feel normal and I never do when I'm hanging out with people. I had a gay friend but he started doing drugs and got mean so I don't hang out with him anymore. He was the only one who got what I was going through. My family doesn't know at all and I feel like it's getting harder to keep it away from them but they won't take it well. I just wish I could be like everyone else Ive liked the same girl for 4 years (she's straight) and I can't seem to move on and I just don't know what to do anymore. Sorry if this was long and whiny lol
Hey, it is cool. You are among more people than you could possibly imagine that know exactly what you are going through! You are out to a few people, which is great! Just take it slow and as the opportunity presents itself, take it (as long as you are ready)! The EC community helped me out insurmountably and from a personal standpoint, even though I met with some resistance, being out and able to tell anyone that might ask is an incredible feeling. For me, the second my best friend told me he was cool and we were still best friends (had a bit of an anxiety attack in between me saying it and him responding, wont lie) the depression lifted, and it just got infinitely easier, and life felt so much better. Good luck!
Hey ilovesg sorry for what you are going through right now. I do think it's tough when no one (or very few people) understands you and it sucks. What is important here is that you know about yourself more than the others and if you think your friends just don't seem to take you seriously, take it as something that they just don't understand. Like you, I am in the closet and have only mentioned that I'm gay to my cousin and psychologist. Sometimes I do wish my family would understand who I really am as their son and not only that but just a sense of belongingness but I tell you this, it requires a lot of patience and strength to pull through. It's not supposed to be but I have learned to become stronger everyday by being vulnerable every now and then.
Yeah I felt better once i told her but she acts like I never did?? I came out to her so I could be honest about my feelings but she kinds of just shut me back in :/ A couple of days ago my friends asked me if I liked anyone and I practically had a panick attack and I couldn't get it out of my mouth like I wanted to tell them but I couldnt anyways thank you
How old are you? Are you planning to go to college? Perhaps once you get to a larger community, you will be able to be more open with people you know. There are a lot of schools with GLBT+ communities.
I'm actually graduating high school next year im 17. I'm going to college so yeah hopefully things will be better there but idk for some reason I'm worried no one will want to date me lol and I'm worried no one will know I'm a lesbian so I'll never have a chance with girls :/
Hey ilovesg! Once you get the first few off your chest, it gets so much easier to come out to people. At first, I was extremely hesitant to tell even my close friends, but now I'm coming out to more people (provided they're smart enough to put two and two together) and even telling multiple people over a conversation at lunch. But I still totally get what you're saying about some conversations being extremely awkward because people don't know; for me, it's when people start saying rude things about gay people and I'm in the area. That makes me just want to drop the "Hey, I'm bisexual" bomb right then and there, if for no other reason than to shut that person up. And hey, everybody says college is the chance to reinvent yourself. Maybe when you get there, you'll be able to join a GSA or similar organization and get yourself out a little more. Then you can get a chance to meet people and actually talk to other gay people in person.
