Ok, so yesterday I found out that one of my gay friends went to a gay club with 3 other people (2 girls and another gay guy), which is fine, that's not the issue here. After I was told, I gave it a lot of thought over and over again. How am I supposed to me other gay men if I don't go to a gay club? I'm not one of those extreme partying people, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I rather go for a serious thing rather than the whole "flirting and hooking up" thing, which is not my style at all. I' wondering how I could meet other gays who are into things that I'm in. I take education (but I'm not a nerd or anything like that, not that there's anything wrong with being one anyways) and morals and manners seriously. I'm just looking for someone who is loyal and serious. You all know what I mean?? I was on the impression that going to a gay bar/club was the only way. The thing is that there are no gay clubs in my branch campus (which I'm not staying in next year) and I honestly don't think that starting one would be any better since it takes a lot of work and people are busy and it would be stressful to get the funding, blablablablabla. So do any of you have any advice? Or am I just doomed? I wouldn't like to think that! :eusa_naug
First of all, you always need to do what feels best and most comfortable for you. It never hurts (and in fact helps us grow) to step outside the comfort zone, but if the "club scene" just isn't your thing, don't feel that you have to do it just to meet guys. The gay club scene here in my area (Sacramento) is pretty happening and fun, but very comfortable and safe; while it's DEFINITELY the place to "hook up" with a guy, it's also just a venue where friends get together and hang out for drinks, dancing, and casual socializing. The age ranges are all across the board, and I've never heard of anything but a positive, community spirit there, both in the clubs and around the immediate area. So even though I too, have never been a bar or nightclub type of person, I enjoy going there a few times a month, just to get my "gay fix", lol! (!) And on a personal note that may interest you, my boyfriend and I, who just moved in together, share the same opinion of the club scene and the guys there: that they are hot, and it's easy to find a quick fling, but you won't ever find a quality, "real" man who wants a genuine, fall-in-love relationship, in the gay club scene. Well, he and I met - you guessed it - at the club!!!! (*hug*)So you never know!
It's just like the straight world. You could meet the love of your life at the park, at the bank, at Aeropostale, even in the bathroom of Red Lobster! A lot of people met their future partners in random places and often times when they weren't looking for love. Just go out and live life. You don't have to be on a hunt to find a guy you like.
Well... It could be that the question wasn't all that original. There are LOTS of threads that already exist with this as the theme. First off - you're not completely out. There isn't a secret handshake or anything, and 'gaydar' is only relied on to a certain point. You likely already know other gay guys - but none of you are willing to admit it to each other. That lowers your odds of meeting someone considerably. The other option is going where gay guys congregate. Clubs are one of those places. But LGBT support groups or social groups are other options. But again, you'd normally need to be pretty comfortable with the possibility of being 'outed' before going to one of those events. As far as gay clubs and bars go - they are lots of fun. And if you go just with the intention of having a good time, that's likely what will happen. Meeting someone else will just be a bonus - if it happens. But I found that it just helped me to be more comfortable with who I was as a gay man. Good luck. (3 replies.)
Four. Go where the gays are. Yes, that may be the gay clubs. But it tends to be more than that. If you're in a town that's large enough to have a gay club, it probably has a gay "section", too. Gay bookstores, gay grocery stores, gay coffeeshops, gay groups, gay volunteer organizations. There they be. Lex
You don't object to a casual fling if it's under the right circumstances and right person kind of scenario? 3 best tips to meeting new GBLT 1. Go where the gays are; like lex said, clubs, stores, organisations etc. 2. Networking - chances are that if you have a fag hag, you're not the only GBL they know. 3. Put yourself outthere, think about the stages you and other GBL people went through, gaydar is rather unreliable and sometimes completley nonexistant, you need to be a friend to make a friend, you need to be gay to make em gay (excluding the whole coincidental meetings and coming out).
