How do you handle homophobic comments from neighbours and people you're not out to yet. I talk to my neighbours because of the closeness of where we live and they don't know I'm gay but keep pointing out women and saying "there you go Jay" and I just nod or say they're not my type I don't know whatelse to say and it's getting on my nerves, but I'm to afraid to tell them I'm gay because I don't know the repercussions. I hear that a neighbour came out of his house the other day and someone put dog crap on his car and his step. I don't want that kind of stuff to happen here because I live with my Dad and I don't want to put him in the middle.
I absolutely hate it when people make homophobic remarks! My twin brother sometimes makes comments. It hurts so much. Right now I am not out to my family so right now I just bite my lip. :bang: I also get once in a while people ask my why I am not married (since I am 40). I just say I haven't found anyone yet. Well its true! Until recently when I came to terms with my sexuality, I did not know what I was looking for.
Well if you consider people pointing out girls homophobic I think you might be overreacting. According to you profile you are from Brampton, I mean that's pretty much Toronto! Now unless you live in like a christian neighborhood or something like that I wouldn't worry about people being homophobic. I mean I live in freaking redneck country (that's calgary ), I'm out and I have yet to get an homophobic remark from anyone. That was probably a personal attack or just some idiot trying to be funny. Heck my ex-roommate from Bowmanville used to have a fresh piece of chewing gum on his windshield every morning until he changed his Ontario license plate for an Alberta one.
The best way to deal with homophobic comments is to make it personal. You don't have to be specific. You don't have to tell them you're gay. But you can say, "I actually know a few gay people, and they're actually cool. So I'd rather you say that sort of thing around me, OK?" Lex
I don't see how his comment was homophobic... he wasn't displaying any kind of negative attitude towards gays. Perhaps just sexist - pointing out a woman on the street as if she were a possession waiting to 'be had'. But not homophobic. But as Lex said, you can always ask people to not make homophobic remarks because you find them offensive, regardless of your own orientation.
The comments are along the lines of "look at that flammer", "or guys don't kiss guys" that kind of stuff.
I haven't had a whole lot of homophobic comments, I keep my sexuality to myself and don't flaunt it to other people. I've only had 2 homophobic comments in my life, and the only way when you do get them is to ignore it and make sure that you're not alone when they do give comments like that because it leads to violence. Had a friend get almost beaten to death by a bunch of homophobes just because he looked at them the wrong way.
Lex has an awesome idea. Making it personal will make the person realise that they are insulting you - in their eyes probably not directly but by association. Also, question them on their experience of GLB people - next time someone makes a remark ask if they actually KNOW someone like that or just 'see' it? Before I came out, I always strongly objected to any degrading comments and slurrs - but I had the luxory of an openly gay brother to justify my defensive nature.
