Hi guys. So it was about two-and-a-half years ago when I first discovered that I was gay. I wasn't really sure what to do about it, so I told two people that I barely knew - I had just moved schools - and let's just say that that was a terrible experience. I suppressed, cried about it, used unknowing people to hide it, and denied it when my friends caught on to the hints that I had dropped in the hopes of getting the courage to tell someone when they did figure it out. I didn't. One person REALLY caught on one afternoon while she was waiting for me at the bus stop, and then decided she would go home and tell everyone on IG, which I had just recently deleted. I JUST managed to convince her otherwise. On top of that, my parents seem like they are very homophobic - my dad only uses "gay" as a simile for "bad", but my mom got really mad about me watching Tyler Oakley and listening to Troye Sivan when she found they were gay. I have heard stories of people getting kicked out when they came out, and I really don't want that. So what do you think? What should I do?
Do it only when you feel ready inside. And you have a crew of friends that will look out for you. Can it wait till you finish school and are more independent?
fist off, welcome to EC! coming out is not east at all. i hid from/ denied my sexuality for about 8-9 years, until the last 5 months or so. in that time i have wanted to come out, but like you said, its just so hard and very scary! your mom seems like she is homophobic (my dad can be that way), your dad well idk. i have a friend that uses anti gay slurs all the time but (im not out) always tells me that its ok for some one to be gay (showing that he actually does accept gays)... so dont be so quick to say your dad is homophobic, but you do know him best so use your judgment. if you are worried about getting kicked out, please have a backup plan to stay at your grand parents, or maybe a friends house if they do. so it might be a good idea to fully come out to a few of your good friends so you have a support group, and make sure one of them is ok with you crashing over there if need be. the best advice i can give is to do it when its safe. whether that mans tell them when you are financially independent and moved out or when you feel that are most accepting. remember that we are always here to help, so if you ever need to talk or need advice please ask. every one here is grate, and i hope you stick around! (&&&) i wish you luck on what you decide to do.
First off I want to say I am sorry for every thing that is going on . I can tell you this it will get better ,I know that it may not seem like it but it will I just cam out my self and I under stand what you are going threw it is hard and you feel like you have no where to turn but guess what you do !! It is here on EC we are here for you . You will come out when you feel the time is right and it will just click one day and you will be like oh yea I am gay/straight/bi what ever you wish to be and it will be like no big deal to you and I promise that the more times you tell people it does get easier and easier . I wish you all the best of luck
Being scared is natural, and fear is a useful emotion. While most people will be supportive not every one will. So it is important to put support mechanisms in place for yourself, an LGBT help line is a good place to start. For me my local LGBT group were a life saver. One thing I have learned is that you should only come out when you feel safe and you are ready and if you are worried have a plan "b" in case things go belie-up. (&&&)
welcome to EC! Im sorry for ur predicament that u r in. As others have said, try not to be so quick to assume your father is homophobic. A lot of my classmates did that, but when i came out, they were perfectly cool with me, and cut back on it once i told them it offended me. Fear is a perfectly natural feeling to be occuring right now.humans are naturally afraid of change, and coming out could be a big change. Try not to think of it like its outrageously huge though. It really isnt. Think of it as just letting people know the real you. Only come out when you feel ready to do so. That may be the bigget part about coming out. If ur not ready, then people may take ur hesitantsy as a sign that you're just confused and dont know what ur talking about. It also will put more presure on you, and intensify your fear. It would be very useful to have some friends who know and accept it, for you to fall back on if things go bad. Have a backup plan in place too. It might be better for you to get away from ur parents for that night, so they have some time to think it over to. Also, it may be better for you to wait until you are more independent or have someone who would ket you stay with them like a grandparent. U never know how someone will react. U have to hope for the besst, but prepare for the worst. Its better to have a back up plan u dont need, rather than no plan when u do need one. I wish you the best of luck!
