I thought I was straight, then I thought bisexual. Now I'm thinking possibly gay, I don't like the word lesbian. Or am I just all sorts of messed up and afraid of being in a relationship? All through out junior high and high school I would like a boy, I'd find out that he liked me and I'd immediately be turned off. Typical teenager thing, always wanting what you can't have, right? But I'm almost 20 and it's still the same thing. This summer, I had Matt, Mohamed, Nick and Steven, FOUR guys, four great, decent looking guys that wanted to date me. Each time one would try to get to know me more and suggest a date I'd be so turned off. Part of me thinks that I subconsciously "like" the guys that I "like" because I don't think that they'll like me so there's no chance of anything happening. I recently grew out of an ugly duckling (maybe not ugly, but awkward) stage and so I'm finding that guys are attracted to me. Maybe I don't even like guys. I think that I think that I should like guys (to be normal) so I randomly pick an attractive one to "like". But maybe I'm the same way with girls. I've never had a girl like me, that I know of. I'm pretty girlie and so most people assume I'm straight, so a girl has never approached me. I want to experience something like that with a girl so I can figure out what my actual feelings are. I (think) I'd feel much better if I could figure myself out. Am I bi? Am I gay? Am I just an annoying girl with a love of the forbidden fruit? Has anyone gone through something similar? Or am I my own new category of weird?
Im currently going through something likethat right now except that i like girls but im unsure if it is 'to be normal'. ive recently accepted that i like guys and i wonder if liking girls is just left over from trying to convince myself that i dont like guys. my best friend knows that i like guys and that im still unsure if i like girls too and she doesnt think of me any differently because she thought i was gay before i told her. the only things that bug me about not knowing if i like girls is 1. there is nobody else i can ask, the answer has to come from me and 2. i feel bad that not telling my mom because im hiding my life from her, but i dont want to talk to her until i know for sure. im not sure if that helps you out any, because im not sure what to do bur i deffinately empathize with you.
youre a new catagory of wierd alright. not orientation-wise, just generally speaking. i totally know what you mean. gr, 'tis frustrating sometimes. with me its like this: i have some sexual atraction to men, but i have a very noticable amount of physical(ill explain the difference in a moment), emotional, and romantic attraction. when i look at a guy, i can say "damn, he's fucking HOT" (thats the physical attraction), but the thought of having sex with a penis is sometimes a tad, well, disgusting. i identify as bi because there still is some sexual attraction to men (little, but it is still there) as well at emotional, physical and romantic, and i have i am attracted to women in all ways possible. i do NOT identify as bisexual as that implies sexual attraction, not emotional, physical or romantic. i hope that helped.
I've never been in that situation before but it does sound complicated and a problem. If you've had four different guys want to go out with you, you either a) didn't like them at all or b) don't have attraction to them in that way. My guess would be b. There's nothing wrong with being a gay woman (I used that since you don't like the word lesbian :lol Maybe you should try seeing if you're the same way with girls. Just a thought. I hope you figure this out soon and can relax about it. Oh, and you don't have to label yourself as anything if you don't want to. Labeling can get a bit annoying, I know. Hope this helps some! (*hug*)
uggh i know what you mean i liked girls and when i went out with them i didnt like them anymore of coarse i realized i was gay when the though of making out with a girl started to make me sick lol so i dont know it is prolly different for everybody
