I'm not entirely sure where this thread belongs, so I'll just put it here. Let me take a moment to describe my situation: I'm a senior in high school (almost done, thank god), I'm out to one person (but I'm not sure he believed me), and I've applied to several great schools. The problem is I don't know where to go. Right now, I have two top schools: an instate school and the United States Air Force Academy. But at the moment, I just cannot decide between the two. I'll list the pros and cons to each. Instate school: it's a great school, relatively affordable, fairly close to home, gay friendly, easier to find a boyfriend (something I want dearly), and I'd have a true college experience. However, I'd still be in touch with my high school peers, and I'm worried about them finding out my sexuality. Long story short, they're jerks. Academy: also a fantastic school, free, and the opportunity to serve my country. I'd be far away from my ex-classmates, and rarely see them, so them finding out wouldn't matter, but I'd be really far away. That's never easy. Aside from the basics, there's another major issue that makes the decision very difficult; I have to come out. And I feel that attending the Academy will make it 'easier' to come out to my parents for several reasons. One, I'd be my own dependent, as I'd have a stable income, so in the event that I'm 'kicked out' (quite possible) it wouldn't be a huge deal, financially. Two, as my father was an Academy grad, he'd have more respect for me as his son, and maybe take the news better. Is that just wishful thinking? Any advice? How was your college experience? Did being far away (if that's your case) help or hurt when you came out? I can't honestly say which I'd prefer to attend, as both schools offer different things, all of which appealing. If anything needs to be clarified, I'll be happy to elaborate; I know my post was a little all over the place.
I came out in college (which I think is the same as the last couple of years of high school in your weird American education system :icon_wink) and I was really surprised how well it went. Later years in education is, in my opinion, the best time to come out to friends; in my experience, by the time you're in further education all the homophobic idiots have either left or have stopped being prats. Or, at the very least, it's much easier not to give a damn! With your college choices, don't just choose one that you think your dad would approve of. You're his son; he's gonna respect you regardless of where you go to college. Find somewhere where you feel you can really be yourself. One of the hardest things to do, I know, is to wake up every morning and pretend to be someone you're not. Once you find a place that you can be yourself, you'll find it much easier to tell people; hell, you may not even have to if you find the right people. (I'm a lover of musicals, me being gay's never really been a secret to anyone! :icon_bigg) I hope this is some help. Everyone here's really lovely, and I'm sure they'll be able to offer you some more advice as well!
let's face it: in order for you to be completely happy, you're going to have to come completely out eventually. it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. and the sooner you do it, the sooner you'll be completely yourself and happy. you might as well go with the option that you like the most (which seems to be in-state school.) trust me, people have their own lives after high school. by time i was 20, i had no idea what the hell my classmates were up to much less did i really give a shit. matter of fact, i just found out about a week ago (mind you, i'm 23) that one of my best friends from high school has a daughter who's already 3. people grow apart and grow up. it's a lot different being gay in high school and in college. it's WAY more socially acceptable in college. and there's thousands of new people to meet and thousands of new people who will love you regardless of your orientation.
If you stay closer to home, you'll have a larger support network to draw on if you have difficulty finding acceptance when you come out. Even if your parents don't support you, there will be friends and possibly other family who will. If you're miles away and can't find a supportive community, it's going to be a lot harder.
I'm currently enjoying my first year of college, but I have yet to come out. I figure the best way for it isn't so much to run around telling people about what I am as to just act like myself and let others figure it out as they get close to me. Being a long ways from home, I can act however I choose without fear of my parents or my old acquaintances from home finding out, so I can just relax and be the person I want to be, letting the chips fall where they may. Maybe this would work for you, maybe it wouldn't. I don't know enough about you or your life to be able to say. I just thought I'd throw in my two cents.
I came out in senior year because I figured screw it and I'm hopeful that college will be alright. That sounds like a tough situation :/
The answer here seems to be clear: go to the in-state school. If you look at the pros and cons that you listed, you can clearly see that staying close to home is what you really want to do. Don't let the fear of having an encounter with someone who treats you poorly in your senior class impact your entire life. In all fairness, someone who you don't like could be alongside you in the U.S. Air Force Academy, but that shouldn't be the deciding factor when it comes to a life-changing choice. Personally, I think it would be better for you to stay close to home, but it's ultimately your decision. As for your parents: that's a completely separate issue which should also not persuade you to choose one over the other. Bottom line: compare the important pros and cons, and don't make a decision out of fear!
