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Thinking about coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by JACT, Nov 25, 2014.

  1. JACT

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    For the first time I feel that I can do this, I have made attempts at least twice before only to get cold feet in the end, but this time I feel I have to, I'm convinced that my family will not be ok with it now and they may never be, strong religious beliefs and traditional family values so I will not even try, my parents are older and I will save them the pain but I have to come out to some one after so much struggle with accepting myself as Gay, now that I can say it to my self in the mirror I have to have the guts to tell to some one else. I hope I don't have a heart attack while doing it. wish me luck.
     
  2. love dont judge

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    Good luck! Im sure they will be okay with it.
     
  3. elliot96

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    Wishing you all the luck and courage I can offer x
     
  4. Emma H

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    Do what you think is best for you. If you feel unsafe, remember that you can back out at anytime and that you do NOT need to come out until you feel comfortable and ready. If you feel inside that it's something you have to do right now, I wish you all the best.
     
  5. Peacemaker

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    Good luck dude!
     
  6. JACT

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    The family will gather for a nice thanksgiving Lunch/Dinner tomorrow, I will not ruin that, the coming out event will happen some time after every visitor has left, Next year I'm sure it will be different, by then more people will probably know and I will be more at peace with all of that.

    Thanks to all for the good wishes, it all helps, Hope all of you have a great Thanksgiving day.
     
  7. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    JACT, it's nice to see someone in my area on this site. I wish you the best with this. I think it's best to go with the low-hanging fruit to begin with. come out first to those who are less threatening, and work you way up. well, that's my approach. good luck with however you decide to do it.
     
  8. JACT

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    Wildside, For now the plan is to tell one person, the difference between now and the past is that now once this person knows I don't care if everyone else finds out, at least that is what I think now, I don't expect full acceptance from every one, well not even anyone but it has to be done.

    Thank you
     
  9. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I like your approach! telling it to one person can be phenomenally liberating. and considering how we have had to be in control of everything to be able to maintain our closeted existence, creating these little wild cards that can create the risk of others finding out has been, for me, a lot of fun. I guess it's a bit of an adrenaline rush for me. And it creates the possibility that someone will come up and ask me. what would me spontaneous reaction be, were that to happen? I'll let you know. I don't know that my approach is the best or right way to go, but after my life in the closet it is just the way it's playing out now. good luck! I look forward to reading your "after action report." And most importantly, Happy Thanksgiving!!! I hope it is the best Thanksgiving ever for you! (!)
     
  10. danielo21

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    Wow! It's true that coming out to that first person is the most difficult step, however I'm sure that you will feel x1000 better after.

    Good luck to you, mate!
     
  11. JACT

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    It happened this morning, there was crying, silence, questions and 2 hours went so fast. My wife and I have been married 18 years now, we are best friends and hope to continue to be that, we will see what happens now, what will be the changes wwe will see.

    I do feel like a new person on the inside, more at peace within.

    Thanks to all for the advice and support
     
  12. One Man Army

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    Well, you did it :slight_smile: I hope you and your wife remain on good terms, it seems like she's doing ok from what you said.

    Please keep us updated, no doubt there will be ups and downs but it's great to be out of the closet isn't it?
     
  13. JACT

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    The day was strangely calm, I feared more thunder and lightning, I mostly got questions, she has many, I will answer all the questions she wants to ask, I want to reassure her that I loved her yesterday just as much as today and will till the end, witch is now up to her, I will respect our marriage, our commitment till the end, we are committed to raise our children together
    as far as marital relations (sex), I guess it will strange, as she rightly feels that I'm not attracted to her, that way any more. That will be a challenge. it sounds wrong to say I'm attracted to men but I like you, and she is not manly at all.

    There will be struggles, I'm sure, I hope we will have the strength to overcame them, it will take time to adapt to our new reality, wish us Luck.

    Thank you all.