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When looking for potential roommates...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by poppet, Nov 27, 2014.

  1. poppet

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hi!

    So, I'm heading off across the country to live in the city next year for university. My parents have kindly offered to let my rent their rental apartment for cheaper, but it has two bedrooms. In order to be able to afford it, I need to find a roommate. However, as you've probably guessed, I'm a lesbian.

    I want to feel comfortable in my own home and not have to live with anyone who will give me a hard time for being a lesbian. I want to be just like everyone else who can bring a girlfriend home and have pictures up and stuff. However, if I tell them about it first, I'll probably become my sexuality. Instead of being 'Rory this really cool roommate (oh, and she's gay)' I'll become 'The Lesbian Roommate Rory'. But if I don't tell them and I find a flatmate that is homophobic, which I don't realise they are until I bring home a girl.... then I'm stuck with them for another 6 months. I don't really want to hide in my own home...

    How should I tell them this? Is there any way to do this without? Or should I just hide it from them? Do I wait until I know them better or be upfront about it?

    The other problem is is that I'm not exactly out to my parents. I don't want any potential flatmate outing me to them before I'm ready. Which, I'm sure, would happen.

    Sorry, I'm not very good at writing down what I'm thinking.
     
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    Tell them.

    It is never fun to be reduce to demographic, whether it is our race or orientation, but more often than not those mindsets start to melt away once people get to know us on a deeper level than the surface. You need to feel comfortable and accepted in your own home.
     
  3. mangotree

    Full Member

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    Why not just find a gay or lesbian flat mate?
    there's websites out there that are specifically for lgbt people looking for lgbt flat mates..
     
  4. David21201

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    Just open your flat to lgbt only if u are that uncomfortable
    If not tell your roommate so u dont have to hid
     
  5. Melanie

    Melanie Guest

    get a gay roommate
     
  6. Really

    Full Member

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    You're going to advertise the available room, right? You could put in the ad, "Non-smoking, cat friendly, shared utilities, LGBT friendly". Something like that. Maybe check ads and model yours after one of them.
    This doesn't say you're gay just that your cool if they are. If it comes up later on, simply ask them to keep it to themselves because your parent aren't in on this yet. They'll understand.