Finally accepted that I'm gay.

I wish I could give you a quick and simple answer or magic formula that would ease the fear and anxiety, but I can't.

Coming out is scary as we are never sure how people will react, but the darkness of the closet is also scary and it weighs very heavily on us too. So really, we have a bit of a trade-off and have to ask ourselves "what is the least worst option?". To begin with, we opt to remain in the closet, because we think it's safer there, but eventually we realise how oppressive and stifling it is to deny ourselves and live a lie until we eventually come out to just one person (like you have just done). For me, it was coming out to that one person and finding it so liberating that set the ball rolling.

You may not feel ready to come out to anyone else right now, but now you have experienced the liberating feeling of telling someone, you may find it hard to leave it there for long. That's how it happened with me and I'm sure many others will tell you the same.

Well done on coming out.

 

I think accepting that you are gay is the hardest part. It took me way too long to accept it , but once I did I felt so much better. Now I don't care what anyone thinks of me.

Glad you came out .. congrats!

 

It's an ongoing journey, the more people you come out to the easier the whole thing gets. But don't rush it do it at a speed that is comfortable for you.

 

Just be patient, and someday you will find the courage. I'm still trying to find the strength to be open about it. Don't do it until you are ready. Good luck

 

First off, congrats on coming out to your former boss. That's a great start! As far as others, no need to force yourself. When you get comfortable, you will know. If there are other casual acquaintances you feel comfortable telling just as you did with your former boss, they are a great way to help you build confidence by telling them. Thereafter, if there are more important people you want to share it with, you have built a foundation for which to do so. But all in due course on your own time table.

 

Your friends would be a good place to continue coming out, as they will be comfortable with it and supportive of you, because understand how it feels. Don't be surprised if they aren't surprised to hear it from you; "gaydar", you know.

 

I think that the way to overcome any fear is to just do it, and then do it again, and then do it again, and then keep doing it. before you know it, you're not even thinking about it. you're off to a great start, laloski!!!!

 

When I told my parents, each one independently said they were waiting for me to finally figure it out! Jeez.......

 

The coming out experience is unique and special to every one in a different way. I am out to a few people. I told my best friend and it was one of the most monumental feeling ever. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, but I was happy. I had somebody to talk to and to tell about my life and loves. It gets easier as the ball rolls on. I wish you many blessings on your coming out path!!

 

that is a good way to describe it, it definitely was "one of the most monumental feelings ever." and that coming out to someone safe, a friend, really made me happy. that's as far as I've got, but I hope that it does get easier "as the ball rolls on," as you say. I really believe you that it will, and I am really anxious to find those opportunities. sometimes topics of gays comes up in talking to my wife, but I haven't been quite able to steer it into the direction of getting her to understand that I am gay. I just hope...
thanks for sharing your experience with us. It really helps. (&&&)

 

Does that apply to women or just men?

 

I'm glad that you're able to accept yourself as you are. You know what they say, you can't love anyone else unless you love yourself first. And you know what the best part is? You don't have to hide anything anymore! You're being you for once. No lying. No making up stories and fake alibis to hide your little secret. It's all good now

 

If your friends are truly friends, they will be understanding. Especially since they are gay. Are you hesitant because you feel they may tell someone? At the end of the day you have to come out when you are most comfortable and feel safe. It was scary for me to come out to my BFF, but I felt soooo much better after I did.

The best of luck to you.

 

I am so happy for you!!!!!!