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How can i help him?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hoping, Oct 11, 2008.

  1. hoping

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    The guy i really like hes going through so much shit with his mum dying and his brother with cancer and i wish i could make it better.
    He told me on thursday that he has been really depressed and im worried about him.
    He said he wants to just cuddle up with me and talk but he works so much and im worried about how much he can take before he just burns out.
    Also on top of this hes really scared hes going to be alone and i think he has a thought deep inside that maybe he doesnt deserve alot of things and it might come from the fact that his father killed himself and that he has the thought that he wasnt a good enough reason for his dad to stay around, I want ti make him smile that beauitful smile again and make him laugh and i want him to be happy but right now i dont know how to achieve this and to be honest it scares me alot and i worry about him so much.
     
  2. EM68

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    Let him know that you are there for him. Give him a big hug (*hug*) and hold him. Suggest to him that you two go out for the day. Pack a lunch and go the the beach or go to the city window shopping. I know you workout maybe suggest that you workout together. Its a great stress reliever. When I workout, I call it "my me time".
     
  3. Gerry

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    First off there's not much you can do as an outsider in this situation but be there for him. Let him know you care about him and it's okay for him to talk to you and just show your support. I'm sure that will mean a lot to him. I couldn't imagine losing a parent and sibling to cancer at the same time. If someone I cared about what there for me the way you want to be for him, that would make me so much happier. That's my best advice to you. I hope it helps. We're all here for you, as I know it must not be easy on your end. (*hug*)
     
  4. Mickey

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    I think it's great that you're such a good friend. You can be there for him,but maybe he needs to talk to a professional. Therapy is so under-rated. I wish you & him the best.
    Maybe you can give him the EC link so he can get more advice and support.
     
  5. Mirko

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    Hi there! As the others have said, all you can do is be there for him when he needs to talk or just needs someone to listen. Let him know you will be there for him. If he calls or messages you try to make some time for him and try to meet up with him. It seems like that he has been through a lot and if you can, ask him if he is seeing someone for help. Given that he feels depressed I think it might be a good idea if he sees someone and seeks some help (if he hasn't done so already).

    Hope this helps a bit!
     
  6. pianomike

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    NEVER NEVER NEVER... underestimate the POWER of a simple hug and encouraging words
     
  7. beckyg

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    Is your friends' mom on hospice care? They should know of some grief support groups that are available. It might help your friend to join one of those and talk to others who have been through this. In fact, you could go with him! I'm sure that would mean alot to him.
     
  8. Amy

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    ^ i agree ^

    ive been in terrible places like this before, it sucks because you feel like you are losing so much at once.

    the only thing you can do it is to hold him and talk to him.

    maybe he doesnt want to talk, maybe he just wants to be held. or maybe he doesnt want to talk about this and just needs someone to ask how his day was.

    (*hug*)