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I finally did it!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by purplecats, Nov 30, 2014.

  1. purplecats

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So I came out to my best friend of 17 years yesterday. It took 45 minutes of me just crying to finally get it out but I did and she's totally accepting of it!! My issue now is I thought I would feel like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders but instead I feel anxious about it. I trust her with my life but she's the only person I've told and I feel like I put this burden on her of keeping my secret. I know how it felt to walk around with this knowledge of me being gay since I realized and I just don't want her to feel the same way I guess. I know how she feels and how I do aren't exactly the same but it still is something that she has to keep to herself. Maybe none of this even makes sense but thanks for reading my ramblings anyway!
     
  2. TheSeeker

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    Congratulations!! I remember the first person I told, and it was HELL trying to say what I had been trying so hard not to say for so many years, but it happened anyway. Take it from me, it gets easier to say with each person you come out to, until eventually you barely even think about it anymore...

    Good luck!!

    -The Seeker
     
  3. Treevine

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    This might not have much to do with your post but....
    I have a cousin who came out to me as bi and I accepted him obviously. Plus when he did come out the only thing that surprised me was that he was bi lol( I thought he was gay). Anyway I was the first person he had told and I was kinda happy about that. I've kept his secret safe and sound ever since.

    Having said this I haven't told a soul that I'm gay not even him. So I feel realllllyyyy bad about that. He's a bit flamboyant and I'm masculine so people really haven't a clue about me. But family members have always talked about him being gay. I always defended him when such conversations came up, before and after he came out to me.

    I know I'm a horrible person for not coming out to him but I hadn't even excepted myself until a few months ago. I still have a lot of growing to do.
     
  4. mangotree

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    Give it a couple of days for your nerves and emotions calm down.
    You're fine, she's fine.

    Congratulations by the way.
     
  5. bigcityboy

    Regular Member

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    I agree with mangotree. The first time I came out was to three people at the end of June of this year. I didn't feel any weight lifted off my shoulders at first and only felt really freaked out and anxious. The moment after I said to them, "I am gay," I slapped my forehead and started repeatedly yelling, "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" like it was a mistake, even though I was bursting to tell them. They comforted me and told me it was fine, that "it was the twenty-first century." I stopped being anxious when these friends didn't treat me any differently when we hung out every day of that week. So relax, know that your best friend knows you're gay, that this information doesn't burden her at all, and that you'll feel better in a few days when you realize that nothing has changed between you two. If anything, this will make you two even better best friends.