I do not like the idea of labeling myself as gay. I think it is not a defining characteristic of my being. That being said, the public knowledge that my sexual orientation deviates from the norm antagonizes labeling. I came out to a few friends in middle school and into high school but I backtracked, saying it was a mistake when I knew very well that was not true. My attempts at heterosexual relationships failed miserably. After high school, I went online to "hook-up" with men. I started doing some drugs, drinking heavily. That stopped after the course of a year or so. Then I became very active in the Church. This is where my life is. This is where my love is. And I know they are accepting of gays, but would they be accepting of *me*? I really question as to whether or not they would. Even so, part of me feels very comfortable being hidden. I doubt there will ever be a time to "come out." But now... I feel lonely. I feel isolated. I feel unworthy. I feel hidden. I feel unwanted. The feels man... Eh... I will see where this thread goes from here.
mind if i ask what church? I go to a Methodist church and everyone's fairly accepting of the gays that go there...
I guess it depends on "how" they accept it. As in, do they accept it as long as you stay celibate or do they celebrate it unconditionally? Maybe you could start by somehow finding other gays in your congregation.
I am a member of the Catholic Church. The Vatican is opposed to it, but not in the way I think most people realize. They think homosexuality is not a choice, it is by nature, but it is also a result of sexual liberalization in the world. It is an unfortunate circumstance. Among American Catholics, particularly where I live in New England, no one cares. People want to see the Vatican be open and affirming. That will never happen. Not for a very very very long time.
I can't speak for Him, but Jesus is probably more upset about you lying than your honest orientation. (Assuming you're Christian) It's defn scary, I'm searching for a church whee I feel I belong too. I'm kind of thinking I might be more of a wanderer, going to 1 church for 2 months then switching. Anyways, you just said they are accepting of 'gays', so that's a plus. Also, if they did not accept you they would become as hypocrites, for we all all guilty and condemned, though through the grace of God all redeemed. Well, it's a part of you, it's personal. Not everyone HAS to share their fav colour. Not everyone HAS to share all their personal details. In this case this personal detail (being gay) feels more impactful than the others since it's part of your very soul, and if someone was to deny who you are you would naturally feel obligated to correct them. Example: Wow, I'm so glad we're both pizza lovers. Example reply: Actually I dislike pizza, I enjoy pasta. For someone to get something wrong about your identity or being sparks the need for correction and equilibrium. Don't let your guard down, like a lynchpin being removed it is very easy to crumble. You just want to be loved for who and what you are, no covers or biases. Remember that the world hates us, oppression is at every corner. Be resolute in your feelings and faith ABOVE all else. From there, a rock to stand you with your foundation you can face any storms that might try to sweep you away. Be adamant but calm, be zealous but meek, be resolute but loving. If you need to share do it, if not, then don't. Be ready to be loved, and be ready to be attacked. I am unsure of your exact belief, I want to assume Christian, but I don't want to be presumptuous. I'll try to tailor my responses according to your feedback ^^ I myself am a white bisexual transgender Christian, so I feel I can't make ANYone happy ahahahah! Especially my family who has trouble dealing with my 'issues'. At the end of the day I know Jesus loves me and chose to give me The Holy Spirit on Oct 14th 2013 for a reason, so as my Rock I will make my stand. I have a huge passion for my faith science and our world, so if I can help or even just chat I'd love to.
So, why would they be accepting of gays but not accepting of you as gay? What makes you different to the rest of them?
I think they accept gays as a concept but not as a reality. Like I want there to be windmills but not in the Nantucket Sound.
Saw this right after my post. Mmm, honestly, while a lot of Christian beliefs coincide with Catholicism, I admittedly am personally against that church. Now, that aside: Psalm 139:13-16 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" 1 Timothy 4:1-5 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2 speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; 3 forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. 4 For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: 5 for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. Just a few among a sea of many more. Jesus knew who you are/were/will-be before you were born, surely He did not make you gay with the intent of destroying you later? God is love, and no amount of earthly works can achieve righteousness, to do so is blasphemy. Talk to Him, He knows what's up ahah.
If Catholics and Protestants cannot respect one another, how can we expect to respect the Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and everyone else who roam the earth? We all have our respective faiths. We love the same God in our own ways.
It's not a respect issue though. Like, categorically someone who is against the Jews is not Christian. I mean that's an aside, but it's not a respect issue. Disagreeing with doctrine can be anywhere from harmless to harmful to one's self or others. I disagree with many doctrines, but do not love a person less or have any less respect or dignity for their life. Also, it might not be the same God. Lucifer is said to be the 'god' of this world, and many religions are clear that their god or god is not the God of Israel. Whilst many denominations do infact give reverence to the same Adonai; there is a clear division in some key areas regarding belief. Yeshua said HE was the Way, the Truth, and the Life that without Him NONE shall come to the Father. Again categorically, that would mean those who do not know Love will not be redeemed. Now, I'm not the judge nor any authority, but there is in some ways some vagueness, and others a clear definitive line. The main point, is not to cast a stumbling block before brothers or sisters. If some believes eating pork is wrong, let them be conceived of their own heart. There's a verse that comes to mind but I'll be a few moments to find it. ---------- Post added 1st Dec 2014 at 10:10 PM ---------- Found it; Romans 14 Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations. 2 For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs. 3 Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him. 4 Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand. 5 One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. 6 He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks. 7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. 8 For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living. 10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. 11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. 12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. 13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way. 14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died. 16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of: 17 for the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. 18 For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men. 19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. 20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. 21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak. 22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth. 23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin. So my point is, minor issues or things in doctrine will happen and is fine. There are many denominations and even those like myself who are more private, but SOMEtimes there IS a definitive divide. The lie is that we can overlook that which is fundamental.
What exactly is it you're afraid of losing by living openly as gay? I understand that the Catholic Church is not exactly welcoming to people who are not heterosexual, but your vision of the Church's teachings are very different and much more accommodating than those held by bigots who try to use the Bible to justify their hatred. So if you believe that the Church understands that homosexuality is a natural thing rather than a choice, what is it you're really risking? Religion is all about your faith, and the fact that you're gay doesn't seem like it should change what you believe in. Is it the sense of community offered by your Church? If so I know it can be a scary thing to embrace something that could make you an outcast, but if that's what you're afraid of I don't think it's a good enough reason to stay closeted. If the Church welcomes you for who they think you are rather than who you know you are, that's not real acceptance. Don't try to force yourself to fit the mold you think other people want to see you in. Good luck; I hope you figure out a way to make your faith work for you without denying your true self.
1 Thessalonians 5 But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you. 2 For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night. 3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape. We are in a calm right now, but the world is pushing for unity in many aspects, and while it would be great I am cautious. I apologize if it seems like I'm throwing a lot of verses at you, but they illistrate my feelings, and hopefully will provide some help or merit. I'm all for love and unity, but I do not want to marry Jezebel or commit whoredom with my brethren. ---------- Post added 1st Dec 2014 at 10:17 PM ---------- ^
I don't want to be rejected by the Church because I fear, to me, it will indicate the rejection by God. I totally understand Church doctrine. It is so clear. How can I move toward accepting my physical desires when I know it contradicts the teaching of the Church? It's preposterous. Thank you all for your responses. You have been helpful. I'm just going to crawl into the nearest hole and cry now.
I don't buy this. If you believe that you were born gay and that it's not a choice, how can you also believe that this would cause you to be rejected by God? Do you think that God made a mistake not only with you but with a huge number of his creations? One of the main teachings of the Church is that all people are created in the image of God -- if being gay is natural, how do you reconcile that? I could be way off so feel free to completely ignore me, but I get the impression that this is more about not having a strong enough support system than it is about you worrying that your sexuality is incompatible with your religious beliefs. Please, show some faith in yourself and understand that you're worthwhile just the way you are. I'm far from the most religious person in the world and I certainly can't claim to be a Biblical scholar, but nothing I learned from being raised Catholic or going to a Catholic high school suggests that God would turn his back on you because of something out of your control or who you love. After all, according to the Bible Jesus said "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." In my eyes the Bible is a call to love, not a strict set of restrictions on who is worthy of it.
Where I live we have a REALLY accepting Catholic community/church. I know 5 gays, 2 transgenders, 4 bisexuals, and 1 pansexual that go there. They are out and their current father (pastor? i dont know what you refer to them as) came from the Vatican area andnwas actually accepting. The Bible was proof just like shown above
The Catholic Chuch is all about endless love and compassion for all people, even the evil. But they do, however, not condone the action.
You yourself said your sexual drives are a natural thing. They are what they are, you can't change them. Now, of course not all natural things are good, they can be harmful and dangerous, either in a physical or a moral sense. You probably want to ask yourself what harm may come to anyone if two consenting adults simply follow they desires, without being disrespectful to each other or to anyone else. If your investigate your faith and morals and you see you're not doing anything that could offend a just, loving and merciful God, then you're not to blame. And if part of the Church (even a huge part) insists on blaming your behaviour or desires, well, maybe this means they are getting things wrong. They are humans just like you and me. This is my personal advice as a former believer, now agnostic but still convinced of certain basic values: find courage and faith and whatever you need within yourself; do listen to other people but don't let their opinions torture you and make you cry. Faith is supposed to give you some inner happiness, I guess!
