So I started seeing a counselor recently. We met once. We will meet again this Thursday. We are talking mainly about my anxieties and depression. I told him a lot about what causes these for me, but I never told him about being trans. Though... I would like to. I do want to talk to someone about it. It just feels weird... And I don't feel... "Ready" to tell him. And there is one major reason for this... He is actually sort of a friend of mine. I knew him before he even became a counselor. I would have prefered to see someone I didn't know. But I have no money so I figured this was my best chance. And I figured whether I mention being trans or not, he could still really help. I don't even know why it is so hard. I've already said some things I really didn't expect to be able say. And I'm glad for that. This is just a topic I'm not comfortable talking about... But if I want something done about it.... And I do.... Then I need to do it... What I want to know is... Do you think it is important to tell him when we meet next? Would it be wierd to bring something like this up after we already met at least once? And would it be really bad if I wait? Any other advice or encouragement you may have would be greatly appreciated too... I'm just feeling really lost and confused right now....
Quiet Raven, My opion is yes tell him .I know its hard for you since you know him and all but it will help you I think, I too had the delima of telling my therapist and I can tell you this that it did make me feel a lot better I did not have to hide it from him any longer and now I can work on other problems . But you have to do what you are comfortable with and if you feel that it is time to tell him then do it . If not and you wan to wait that is your choice . I wish you all the best of luck .
QR, I can share from my experience. I was seeing a professional counselor, actually several, 16 years ago. I didn't share that I was gay, or even that I was having sex with men, because I was afraid to. I almost shared with one. I couldn't think about what to talk about, and so he asked what I was thinking about on my way over. I said sex. He laughed, and changed the topic. I almost came out to him. But after that, I ended all therapy. And I got nothing out of the experience, because I didn't talk about what mattered. If you have any fears, especially with the fact that you knew him from before, tell him that you are concerned about how much you can share, and need to know how he views the confidentiality of the sessions. That may open the door for you to tell him what you really need to tell him if you are to get anything out of this experience. and if you can't, it's probably just a matter of time until you call it quits like I did, because IMO you won't be getting everything you need from the sessions. You may still get something, but it won't be enough. so, again IMHO, I would say that YES, you should talk about this in your next session. That advice from someone who got it wrong (but I'm hoping to try it again soon, and to be completely honest)
Yeah. I should tell him. I think will... Try to tell him this Thursday. This is really scary though... I am literally shaking as I write this thinking about it. I was doing the same thing as I wrote the first post... But why? It will do nothing but good... But then, that is part of why I started seeing him in the first place... Ilogical, uncontrollable anxiety. I already told myself I won't run away from my fears anymore... If I don't tell him about this, I will be breaking my promise to myself. And things will only get worse. I'm terrified as hell... But I have to do this. If I don't, I will just be adding one more thing to my list of regrets. Thank you.
You are incredibly valiant! Yeah, it is scary as hell. But you're standing up to your fear, and not letting it control you. I am so inspired! Good luck! Your life is about to get a lot better. Remember, we're only as sick as our secrets. And you are getting better by the minute.
So... he is sick and I was forced to reschedule our appointment for another day. And the earliest I was able to reschedule for was 1 one week from today.... Gah! And here I was all ready to talk about it too. Sort of... Oh well. It happens. I can wait.
Ugh! I can imagine the let down you must be feeling, after being all pumped up, and wanting to get it out. :bang: But you've already crossed a big threshold by being ready to tell him. and we will be here one week from today, waiting to hear how things went. It will be so fantabulous!!! :eusa_clap
I did it! And it went amazingly. He was totally understanding and supportive. And it just felt really good to talk about it. I feel SO much better now. He even told me about a local support group to check out. Thank you so much! I couldn't have done this without your support and encouragement. Seriously, I can't thank you enough. (*hug*)
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!) This is always so encouraging. I knew it would go well, but it always gives me such a lift when I read another success story. Your courage inspires us all. Let's just hope it's contagious! Fantastic that he recommended a support group. I think that will be a great help, having others you can share with, people who understand what you're going through because they are too. good luck with that next step! :smilewave
