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Coming Out to My Boyfriend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by vroompinky, Dec 7, 2014.

  1. vroompinky

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I posted a while back about my realization that I am bisexual. I'm a female in a long-term heterosexual relationship (6 years). I've been wanting to tell him for a while, but I'm afraid it will be awkward (for obvious reasons, I think). He recently brought up the topic of having a threesome with another girl, which is something we've talked about before, and I immediately got defensive. I really don't think it's a good idea. I've never been with a woman, but I am terrified of how I'd feel in that situation, as enticing as it sounds in theory. I know it would ruin everything. I just want him to know why I feel so strongly that way. Sex, to me, is tied to my emotions.

    How do I come out to him without him feeling like I'm trying to tell him I want to cheat on him?
     
  2. PA007

    Regular Member

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    I am in the same exact situation regarding my girlfriend. I haven't been sure how to tell her I'm bisexual or if I will. But if you are happy in the relationship and have no desire to stray does it matter too much? I think it could depend person to person. I'd like to talk more, I don't know many other bi's in straight relationships!
     
  3. vroompinky

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I told him last night, and it went about as well as I could ever hope. I've felt pretty guilty for a while now for not telling him because I've had a big crush on a girl in one of my classes this past semester. It has no bearing on our relationship, but it's been eating me up to not tell him.
    When I told him that I'm bi, he just said, "Well I kind of already figured that." Awesome. So I told him about my crush. He just asked if I could show him what she looks like. And then he bemoaned the fact that this means we'll probably never have a threesome since it would get complicated. All in all, super easy and I'm extremely relieved to have that weight off my chest. Whew!

    ---------- Post added 4th Jan 2015 at 06:56 PM ----------

    I'd love to chat...it is a confusing place to be for sure
     
  4. PalestrinaMX

    Full Member

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    I am glad he responded that way! Even better that he understands that just because your Bi, doesn't mean that you're into 3somes, and he in fact knows that could cause damage to your relationship. He sounds like a great guy!
     
  5. PA007

    Regular Member

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    I am happy you were able to come out to you bf with such great success! I've been dating my gf for a much shorter period of time so we are still in that trust gaining stage right now so I can't drop the bombshell yet lol. Long story short I was in a hetero relationship before this one and I came out to her with much success. But as you know with dating each instance is different.

    I think it's perfectly normal to be bi and not stray away, but it takes the right type you know? Sometimes I think my gf might be bi and hiding it just by certain things she says. But I won't dare ask that question!