I'm 22 years old and a graduate student here in DC. I know I'm a Lesbian, I've known for a long time I guess, but I've never really admitted it to myself. The thing is that I don't know how to come out. Who to tell first or even what to say. I'm at a loss for words, which is totally unlike me. I'm overwhelmed and completely lost.
Well every person has a different idea of who should be told first.Some who have a really open relationship with their families want their families to know first and some who have a better relationship with their friends want them to know first.I really depends on who you feel that you could tell and get positive feedback from.I am 22 and bisexual and I have yet to come out to my family because I am unsure of how they'll react. Just start slowly,tell the person who you feel would be the most supportive first and then that will give you curage to comtinue comming out.As for how/what to say to them I wish I could tell you that there is a certain way to do it,but there isn't.My advice is to make sure that you are alone with the person(or people) you want to tell first and be ready for a myriad of reactions.Be ready for a lot of questrions(especially when you tell your parents) Make sure that you are confident because if they sense you are unsure they will assume that you are in a "phase" I really hope that helps.If you need any more help just ask.
Hi there! First of all, welcome to EC! You have come to the right place to figure it all out. The coming out process is a long journey and it can be difficult and overwhelming at times, but if you take your time and go slow at it you will find that it will be easier to deal with. Know though that is perfectly okay to have conflicting feelings and emotions. With time as you move along your coming out journey you will find that some of those emotions and feelings will subside. From your post it looks like that you are still in the process of coming out to yourself. In other words, you have to admitted to yourself first before taking the next step. Once you have come out to yourself, with time you will become ready and comfortable in letting others know. Once you feel ready to come out to others, start with a really good friend who you can trust and know that she/he will be accepting and supportive. Now, you might ask yourself, but how do I know that I feel ready for the first person to know? It is a feeling where you know that yes this is what I want to do, a feeling where you don't question whether it is a good idea to come out to someone and where you can tell yourself, yes, this feels right. As you come out more, you start building up your your support network. Your support network can include, friends, relatives, a counselor, professors, a LGBT support groups (such on campus and/or in the community) and EC of course. Having a strong and a wide ranging support network is important as it will allow you to build up courage to continue your coming out process and to become more comfortable with yourself. I think what might be helpful is if you would talk to a counselor. Often talking about our feelings/emotions that we experience during our coming out journey allows us to make greater sense of them and it helps us to understand ourselves better. Having someone to talk to at any stage of the coming out process and where you don't have the feeling of needing to hold back something can be very helpful. There is really no right or wrong way of coming out to someone. Coming out can be done in a variety of ways. Some have come out in person others have written letters or have come out over IMs. Often keeping it simple and short works best. For example: you could say "I want you to be the first one to know because I can trust you. I want you to know that I have feelings for girls...." and take it from there. However, the most important thing in the coming out process is that you take your time and follow your instincts and whatever you feel comfortable with. There is no rush in coming out to others. Take your time. Stick around on EC. Maybe try to read some of the resources and some of the threads in the support/advice and coming out sections. I think you will find them very helpful. Please do feel free to post any questions/concerns you have and we will try to help you as much as we can. I hope this helps a bit.
