Coming out to my best friend...

I would recommend face to face even if he is shy. By text he might not take it as seriously and it's harder to convey emission by text as they can't hear what tone you say things in. I would suggests going to a place that is neutral so it is easy for either of you to leave if needs be and to make sure that you keep your cool no matter what the reaction. It sounds like hell be fine about it. Good luck

 

How valuable is your relationship with him? If it's valuable then do it face-to-face.

Never come out to anyone over any means of electronic devices. He loves you as a friend and you should love him back enough to be comfortable to tell him anything. I came out to my friend face-to-face and he told me we'd always be monkeys fighting crime. I don't know what that meant but I knew it meant he accepted me for who I was.

I wish you the best of luck with your conquest of revealing your true identity !

 

I would suggest in person as well. Maybe a quiet, public-ish place. If you aren't out to your family, you may not want to do it at your place, as you may not be able to guage how he'll react initially. I know my best friends were more upset that I hadn't told them previously, than in me being gay. Good luck, but also realize his initial reaction may not be his final reaction. Keep us posted!!

 

If you want to make clear that you are not interested in him, talk to him about an imaginary guy you are interested in. this way you:
-avoid him thinking you are interested
-coming out in the most casual way possible is the best, especially with friends. everyone knows about crushes. However, because straight people don't come out, they freak out a little if you are very solemn about it.

BE CONFIDENT. BE CONFIDENT. BE CONFIDENT. BE CONFIDENT. If you appear shy and afraid he will unconsciously think that being gay is something to be ashamed of. show him that you love who you are . STAND YOUR GROUND

I can't predict his reaction. remember that a lot of guys your age are homophobic JUST to fit but they don't have any problems with gay people. remember also that people that are not confident in their own sexuality can be homophobic. remember that he maybe needs some time to get use to it, the same way we gay people needed time to being comfortable with ourselves.

in any case, I will say again. BE CONFIDENT (it worked for me)
keep us posted!

 

Good luck! I think danielo gave some good advice. Not that I've done it myself, I'm still figuring it out myself so I've only told a few people. I just know that sometimes people may react not because they truly are homophobic, but because they are just surprised by it and don't know how to deal with it.

I'm 45 now and my best friend I think tried to come out to me when we are about 17, and I think I handled it badly. I didn't freak out, I stayed calm, and I didn't say anything hurtful, but I remember he then backtracked and said "Just kidding, I was just seeing how good of a friend you were." or something like that. I felt like a failure because i didn't believe the backtracking, and keep thinking about how maybe if I had said the right thing he would have "stayed out."

My only point is remember that the person you come out to is going through some junk, too. Everybody has their "stuff" -- insecurities, fears, etc.

 

I told my best friend over text, but she didn't believe it.Face-to-face worked waaaaaaaayyyy better. As for the not interested part just play it cool.

 

In the end it is your decision, and you know your friend and yourself best.

 

---------- Post added 10th Dec 2014 at 09:29 PM ----------

[/COLOR]coming out to an important person is like trying to pronounce Voldemort for the first time in Harry Potter. At first Only Dumbledore did.( pretty good metaphor isn't it)

ok now serious. Your "problem" is that you are so worried about his reaction that you can't see that this is not about himself, this is about YOURSELF. It's your coming out.

I thing I learnt is that it is very difficult to predict the success of a coming out. We think we know people but they surprise. My grandmother is conservative, religious and anti-gay. when my uncle came out last year, she was eager to meet his new boyfriend.

in the worst scenary
If he doesn't accept you he is not the friend you think he was. hard I know, but coming out allows us to test people. Would you want to have for a friend a person who rejects you based on sth as personal and harmless as sexuality? I don't think so.


you can do it!! BE CONFIDENT :icon_bigg. if you have any kind of doubt dont hesitate is telling us.

 

Your welcome. coming out is not a duty and in the end is up to you. I see that you are very young and you have already came out to some people and that is a very big step to be praised.

 

Go for it! I just told my best friend last week that I am bi. He was so supportive and made it clear that it had no impact on our friendship. If he is truly your friend he will have no issue. That said I do understand your hesitation. It took me 3 years to tell my friend. Don't wait as long as I did.

 

The first timw i came out was to my friend who wasnt really my "best-friend" but i still did it cause it has been hurting so much to keep my emotions bottled up but what really surprised me was what she said afterwards which really impacted me deeply in a good way . She said "Don't change , i think it'll be
great to have a gay friend" and that just reassured me that despite my sexual orientation , she will always be there for me and she did so by being so bluntly said that i shouldnt cut cause of my depression cause i always had someone i can rely on and that was her . Now we're still the best of friends and hope the same goes to you! Good Luck and if he was your best friend he would accept you no matter the circumstances!(*hug*)(!)