I'm slowly starting to accept that whether my coming out causes any one of my family to stress themselves to death, I just can't control it I've felt so guilty over this. My mom stresses about my schooling, so imagine when she, a homophobic christian, figures out that I'm gay. This is honestly what makes me think of reparative therapy sometimes. I've even thought of having a beard relationship with a lesbian, who wants a gay guy like me, so we can forever hide our identities and pursue lovers on the down low. I honestly wish I wasn't a part of my family. I wish I was put up for adoption and taken care of by more accepting parents, so I won't have to worry about the mess I would make when I come out (or am forced out eventually). Sometimes, I just can't concentrate because I feel guilty that my sexuality might just cause stress to someone in my family. Will I ever move on from this guilt? Do parents stop worrying eventually?
Do parents stop worrying? Yeah when they'll have a blizzard in hell. No matter how old you are, even as old as me or more, they never stop worrying about their children. Some might control their urges and act cool but inside they mostly same old parents when you were 10. You might think that "bread" thing as a solution but with ever accepting world, do you think the gay guy you will like would accept you with it. Are you willing to sacrifice from the time you could spend with him? I understand your worries about your family. That is the main reason why I am not coming out to my mother. She is very okay with gay people but if I came out than that will become official. So she will feel the hurt whenever there is a homophobic comment, joke or insult around which is very common in here. We are way behind the Western world on that aspect of life. I don't want to inflict that kind of pain on her twlight years. She alreday worries about what will I do when she passes away, knowing that bad outlook to gay people in our society will probably scare her more. I decided long ago if I would come out to my mother, it will be the day I find the one I want to share rest of my life with... to let her I will never be alone and okay... Ha ha ha I know sentimental shit but sounds nice, right? World is changing, people are changing with age. Just don't stress yourself out with coming out to your parents unless you really really feel like you have to. You are open with us here, you can be open with your friends. Those might seems like little things but believe me they help. Not sure if those things will help you at least but knowing what others gone/going thru most of the time illuminate our own troubles in unexpected ways. Hope everything turns out good for you in the end. (*hug*) PS: Ewww... sorry for long post. :icon_redf
Hi Drifter Just a short word about reparative therapy - DON'T GO THERE!!! it NEVER works. I did one of the milder versions - when scientists thought sexuality was a learned behaviour, the know better now. After fooling myself that I was 'cured' I lead a dull, quiet, emotionally numb life for over twenty years. :eusa_doh: If your parents go 'ape shit' :tantrum: when you come out be prepared to go back into the closet again, :eusa_liar but never deny who you are to yourself. ride: One mother I know, who's son committed suicide because he was gay, regularly gave talks to school children. Shad one piece of advice for young people coming out "Have a plan 'B', just in case". One good thing is that nearly all parents love their children no matter what! (*hug*)
